Comments on: Asking the Hard Questions http://www.alexismartinneely.com/asking-the-hard-questions/ Being Afraid and Doing It Anyway Sun, 05 Feb 2012 18:53:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: melaniebensonstrick http://www.alexismartinneely.com/asking-the-hard-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-2422 melaniebensonstrick Thu, 17 Dec 2009 15:53:21 +0000 http://alexismartinneely.com/?p=1008#comment-2422 Asking for references is something I teach ALL my clients to do when hiring ANY type of vendor, assistant, team member or other support system.<br><br>I pay attention to how the reference responds to my questions, I call them all (not just email) and I ask things like, "What are 1 - 2 things this vendor did to impress you?" "What is something you would have liked done better?" and most importantly, "Would you hire them again knowing what you know now?"<br><br>I also do something else...I call people they have listed as a testimonial and I search the internet to see what's out there on them.<br><br>Great post Alexis...feel the fear and do it anyway. You are a rockstar in this area for sure!<br><br>Melanie Asking for references is something I teach ALL my clients to do when hiring ANY type of vendor, assistant, team member or other support system.

I pay attention to how the reference responds to my questions, I call them all (not just email) and I ask things like, “What are 1 – 2 things this vendor did to impress you?” “What is something you would have liked done better?” and most importantly, “Would you hire them again knowing what you know now?”

I also do something else…I call people they have listed as a testimonial and I search the internet to see what's out there on them.

Great post Alexis…feel the fear and do it anyway. You are a rockstar in this area for sure!

Melanie

]]> By: uberVU - social comments http://www.alexismartinneely.com/asking-the-hard-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-2421 uberVU - social comments Tue, 15 Dec 2009 22:01:32 +0000 http://alexismartinneely.com/?p=1008#comment-2421 <strong>Social comments and analytics for this post...</strong> This post was mentioned on Twitter by btannebaum: Great post by @alexisneely on asking hard questions of people. Bravo! http://bit.ly/7LVFsh... Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by btannebaum: Great post by @alexisneely on asking hard questions of people. Bravo! http://bit.ly/7LVFsh...

]]> By: Matt http://www.alexismartinneely.com/asking-the-hard-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-2420 Matt Fri, 11 Dec 2009 18:24:29 +0000 http://alexismartinneely.com/?p=1008#comment-2420 Thank you for this...It can be so difficult to do business with people who claim to be experts in Social Media/Internet Marketing or even Personal/Spiritual growth...Asking for references is a good idea Thank you for this…It can be so difficult to do business with people who claim to be experts in Social Media/Internet Marketing or even Personal/Spiritual growth…Asking for references is a good idea

]]> By: Alexis Martin Neely http://www.alexismartinneely.com/asking-the-hard-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-2419 Alexis Martin Neely Fri, 11 Dec 2009 04:28:47 +0000 http://alexismartinneely.com/?p=1008#comment-2419 Amy, you've identified something I'm definitely still working on. Listen, this is the very first time I've even identified that I have failed to ask for references in the past at all because I was scared. Next time, my request for references will have less apology.<br><br>I'm growing.<br><br>Interestingly, since I've written this post I have not heard from the guy I was considering hiring. I believe it's just because he was busy, but there's definitely a part of me that wonders if it's because I asked for references. And if so, what does that mean? If anything.<br><br>I do think women in positions of authority do more apologizing than is necessary. Hopefully, I'll be able to help more women ask the hard questions unapologetically.<br><br>Thanks so much for your clear expression. Amy, you've identified something I'm definitely still working on. Listen, this is the very first time I've even identified that I have failed to ask for references in the past at all because I was scared. Next time, my request for references will have less apology.

I'm growing.

Interestingly, since I've written this post I have not heard from the guy I was considering hiring. I believe it's just because he was busy, but there's definitely a part of me that wonders if it's because I asked for references. And if so, what does that mean? If anything.

I do think women in positions of authority do more apologizing than is necessary. Hopefully, I'll be able to help more women ask the hard questions unapologetically.

Thanks so much for your clear expression.

]]> By: Amy Mauser http://www.alexismartinneely.com/asking-the-hard-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-2418 Amy Mauser Thu, 10 Dec 2009 20:06:48 +0000 http://alexismartinneely.com/?p=1008#comment-2418 I was disappointed to read the number of qualifications and apologies in your request for references. It may have been a hard question for you to ask - but you belied your strength by couching the question in so many reassurances. Once you determined it was a question that you needed to ask there was no need for you to couch it in your own drama. Do you think the need to apologize for strength is seen more frequently in women who are in positions of authority? I was disappointed to read the number of qualifications and apologies in your request for references. It may have been a hard question for you to ask – but you belied your strength by couching the question in so many reassurances. Once you determined it was a question that you needed to ask there was no need for you to couch it in your own drama. Do you think the need to apologize for strength is seen more frequently in women who are in positions of authority?

]]> By: Alexis Martin Neely http://www.alexismartinneely.com/asking-the-hard-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-2417 Alexis Martin Neely Wed, 09 Dec 2009 23:49:35 +0000 http://alexismartinneely.com/?p=1008#comment-2417 That Suzanne is one smart lady, isn't she? Yes, I discovered long ago that I learn to teach and I teach what I most need to learn. Most everything that comes out of my mouth to others is what I most need to hear myself in that moment. It's why I love being a coach, teacher, mentor and guide. It's me mentoring me to be the person I want to be. At our core, we are all one. That Suzanne is one smart lady, isn't she? Yes, I discovered long ago that I learn to teach and I teach what I most need to learn. Most everything that comes out of my mouth to others is what I most need to hear myself in that moment. It's why I love being a coach, teacher, mentor and guide. It's me mentoring me to be the person I want to be. At our core, we are all one.

]]> By: Brian Tannebaum http://www.alexismartinneely.com/asking-the-hard-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-2416 Brian Tannebaum Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:54:15 +0000 http://alexismartinneely.com/?p=1008#comment-2416 Great post - I posted some hard questions here - <a href="http://mylawlicense.blogspot.com/2009/12/social-media-guru-comes-partially-clean.html" rel="nofollow">http://mylawlicense.blogspot.com/2009/12/social...</a> that have yet to be answered. I'm glad to see others using social media sites are asking hard questions. Keep asking. Great post – I posted some hard questions here – http://mylawlicense.blogspot.com/2009/12/social… that have yet to be answered. I'm glad to see others using social media sites are asking hard questions. Keep asking.

]]> By: Sanyika Calloway Boyce http://www.alexismartinneely.com/asking-the-hard-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-2415 Sanyika Calloway Boyce Wed, 09 Dec 2009 06:11:02 +0000 http://alexismartinneely.com/?p=1008#comment-2415 The hard question I was challenged to ask, by you - no less, was "How do I take 100% responsibility for everything without blaming myself for anything?" Whoa...powerful. I'm not sure I have the answer to that yet, but the asking has activated my thinking BIG TIME. Suzanne Falter Barns told me last week, "Sanyika, it's all perfect because we are all here to teach what we most need to learn ourselves" - I posted that on FB & Twitter and have sat with it as my life unfolds and an working to be a woman and biz owner who leads with grace, vulnerability and transparency. Thank you for being a friend, mentor, amazing Mom and rockin' biz woman! The hard question I was challenged to ask, by you – no less, was “How do I take 100% responsibility for everything without blaming myself for anything?” Whoa…powerful. I'm not sure I have the answer to that yet, but the asking has activated my thinking BIG TIME. Suzanne Falter Barns told me last week, “Sanyika, it's all perfect because we are all here to teach what we most need to learn ourselves” – I posted that on FB & Twitter and have sat with it as my life unfolds and an working to be a woman and biz owner who leads with grace, vulnerability and transparency. Thank you for being a friend, mentor, amazing Mom and rockin' biz woman!

]]> By: mikebryant http://www.alexismartinneely.com/asking-the-hard-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-2414 mikebryant Wed, 09 Dec 2009 05:00:48 +0000 http://alexismartinneely.com/?p=1008#comment-2414 Very interesting read. That being said, the point I get out of this is that you have no control over the way the person would react. But, the reaction you got was really the one you needed. The one you, and many others, were afraid of getting was probably a sign of something that would be a big problem in the long run. Thanks for the provocative blog. Very interesting read. That being said, the point I get out of this is that you have no control over the way the person would react. But, the reaction you got was really the one you needed. The one you, and many others, were afraid of getting was probably a sign of something that would be a big problem in the long run. Thanks for the provocative blog.

]]> By: Lionel Spearman (@lspearmanii) http://www.alexismartinneely.com/asking-the-hard-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-2413 Lionel Spearman (@lspearmanii) Wed, 09 Dec 2009 02:10:58 +0000 http://alexismartinneely.com/?p=1008#comment-2413 I tend to always ask hard questions and if I do not know you or have not had experience watching how you operate in other environments then I do want references and I will check them - that is just sound business. On every site where my profile exists you will find some form of reference because it is not about me but the client and they must be comfortable with the services I am offering. Further it is my opinion that a good consultant does not initially discuss price but rather gets a feel for what you need and if they are even the best person/firm to help and if not they recommend you to someone better suited to solve your problem or bring in someone who is. Short answer - the tough questions help me on a daily basis not only with how I run my businesses but with how I relate to customers and potential suppliers. If I need to elaborate - let me know. I tend to always ask hard questions and if I do not know you or have not had experience watching how you operate in other environments then I do want references and I will check them – that is just sound business. On every site where my profile exists you will find some form of reference because it is not about me but the client and they must be comfortable with the services I am offering. Further it is my opinion that a good consultant does not initially discuss price but rather gets a feel for what you need and if they are even the best person/firm to help and if not they recommend you to someone better suited to solve your problem or bring in someone who is. Short answer – the tough questions help me on a daily basis not only with how I run my businesses but with how I relate to customers and potential suppliers. If I need to elaborate – let me know.

]]>