I’ve talked with so many business owners recently who are doing business with undocumented agreements.

Hand shake deals.

They tell me they intend to get it done, but we both know the truth … they won’t.

I get it – I experience a lot of my own personal resistance to getting agreements documented.

Getting written agreements in place brings up a lot of stuff that can be challenging to deal with.

Just the other day though I was reminded of how important it is.

Tina Forsyth hired me to create custom Terms of Service for the website for her THRIVE Hiring System and a template agreement that business owners who invest in the THRIVE Hiring System can use before hiring.

Before I began work, I sent Tina an agreement confirming what I understood the scope of work to be and it’s a good thing I did because I was slightly wrong about what I thought I was doing for her.

Had I gotten right to work without sending her the agreement for review/signature (as many of you are doing!), I would have wasted my time and hers.

This is why you do agreements – clarity, certainty, the best possible chance of success in your relationships, which means more work with less time and more ease.

Who knew you could get all that from an agreement?!?

Do you use agreements in all your business dealings? If not, why not? How can I help?

Today, I hiked my first 14er. That’s a 14,000 foot above sea-level mountain. Here’s where you can see the details of the trail we took.

About half way up the mountain, I got really scared I couldn’t do it.

I thought we were going to be hiking, but this was real mountain climbing.  Like the clinging to the side of the mountain, probably should have had ropes or something kind of mountain climbing.

I’ll have photos soon.

More than once, I was so scared, I had to stop, lay my head down on the mountain and cry.  Then, I got up and kept going.

Such a metaphor for life and business.

The next time shit happens in your life and business and you are sure you are going to die, I want you to think of me on that mountain, thinking I was going to die.

And I want you to put your head down, cry your eyes out and then get back up and keep going.  Don’t turn back and don’t get stuck.  You’ll be better than fine as long as you get up and keep climbing the mountain.

Breathe into your belly, pray to source, and keep on keepin’ on.

The vast majority of my role models have been men.

My dad was my first. Then, most of my law school professors. The partners I worked for at the big law firm. And many of the authors I’ve read, coaches and mentors I’ve worked with have been men.

I learned to do business like a man. And got really great at it.

But, it hurt. A lot.

Perhaps you haven’t identified it that way, but now that I’ve pointed out can you see it’s been there all along? Hiding.

You thought it was you. Something was wrong, but you didn’t know what it was. So you allowed yourself to believe if you just kept going and pushed harder it would resolve.

That has not been my experience.

I’ve spent the past 5-6 years exploring an alternative to doing business like a man – discovering a model of powerful feminine leadership that is still (and perhaps always will be) evolving and it’s finally emerging. Deepening.

Because my schedule is so packed right now, I’ve not had a lot of time to write about it. But, I’m hosting an event in LA and  have been talking about it on interviews.

So if you are interested in learning more about this deepening and how it impacts you and your business, come to the event or listen in on these interviews I did.

You can hear me as a guest in the Entreprenurial Goddess Telesummit and in the Body Mind & Business Breakthrough Telesummit.

So ladies, talk to me about your experience with balancing the masculine and feminine energies in your business.  How is it for you? Where do you find difficulty and challenges?  What’s working? Can’t wait to hear!

Salesies are the people you see out there who have no problem promoting themselves and their programs constantly.

They can get an idea for a business, launch it and make money very quickly.

Without a healthy dose of smarty thrown in though, they may find it difficult to sustain, evolve and grow.

Smarties, on the other hand, often seem stuck. Lots of skepticism, complaining, and judging from this group.

But, when the smarty gets infused with a little salesy, the combination is incredibly powerful.

The ability to have an idea, move it forward, launch it, sustain it and grow it.

Ideally, you’ll find a way to be both salesy and smarty.

Salesy when it comes to promoting your business and smarty when it comes to growing it.

I’m interested to hear where you would say you fall on the Salesy/Smarty Business Spectrum. Are you a salesy? A smarty? Or somewhere in between?

Are you working on cultivating one because you are already naturally the other? Has your natural salesy or smarty held you back? Let’s talk about it.

I am writing this post to explore  my own understanding of a term that’s been coming up for me a lot – evolutionary entrepreneur.

And also to issue a call to action to the rest of ya out there who are already well on the way of this journey or ready to finally step out onto the path.

I’ll start by saying this – being an evolutionary entrepreneur is scary.  Really scary.

It feels a lot like riding a wild roller coaster with insane twists, turns, and loop-dee-loops.

And it’s just as exhilarating.

I’d venture to say that if you are not experiencing what I’m talking about and you consider yourself an evolutionary entrepreneur, it’s time to go further.

Evolve more.  Let go more.  Be more willing.

So, what is an evolutionary entrepreneur besides someone willing to ride the crazy train in their business?

The evolutionary entrepreneur is constantly moving, shifting, growing, expanding, innovating.

The evolutionary entrepreneur falls deeply in love with everything, but gets attached to none of it, recognizing that in any moment everything could be gone and it’d be okay.  Uncomfortable as hell, but okay.

Ambition, achieving, awareness comes from a place of center, rather than projection and reflection back.

Are you an evolutionary entrepreneur?

If yes, how do you know?  Share it with me.

I’m issuing this call to you, the evolutionary entrepreneur who is discovering how to navigate the world of business in alignment with who you are as a person.

To you, the person who is moving so fast, shifting so rapidly that it seems you are spinning out of control and the people around you are having a hard time keeping up.

To you … the evolutionary entrepreneur.

Out yourself.  Here.  Now.  Tell me about you.  What do you need, want, desire? How can I support?  Tell me.  Tell us all.

It’s an almost certainty that any relationship you are in right now is going to end.  Relationships are more fluid than they ever have been before.

We don’t stay at the same job for 40 years, collect the gold watch and retire.  We rarely stay married to the same person.  We move, we shift, we evolve.  Relationships end.  It’s just the way it is.

The greatest chance you have of ending your relationships in a way that does not result in emotional distress is by planning for the break up at the beginning of the relationship.  When you love each other.

Whether it’s a romantic relationship or a business relationship doesn’t matter.  In the beginning there is love.  At the end, there may not be.

But, if you plan for the end at the beginning, you are far more likely to be able to end the relationship with love and keep the door open for the possibility of flowing back together.

This is what having agreements is all about.

Create an agreement at the beginning your relationship and be exceedingly clear about what happens at the end.

I never used to do this and I wondered why my relationships ended poorly, with confusion and lack of clarity.  With unhappiness and blame.

I recently ended a relationship.  We had no agreement in place.  The end was ugly.  Not lawsuit ugly, thank God.  But, emotionally ugly. Perhaps it could have been different if we had written down all the agreements we had made and talked about over the years.

When I hired a CEO to come in and run my company recently, I was awed by our process of creating an agreement.  It wasn’t a negotiation; it was a dance.  A courtship.

Start every relationship with this kind of a courtship.  See the agreement process as an opportunity to discover something about yourself and this person you are entering into a relationship with.

Do they retract and constrict?  Do you? Or is the dialogue open-hearted and loving?  Where are you generous and yielding and where do you tense and hold back?

Discover how to set boundaries with an open heart.   It’s the most loving thing you can do for all your relationships.

I try to listen when the Universe sends me a message. I’ve been getting this one loud and clear.  There is a LOT of confusion about when to use a Non-Disclosure Agreement (NDA).

And before you go ho-hum, boring, consider this …

If, how and when you present an NDA can make or break a relationship. And, if you just choose to do nothing, you really could get taken.

So, what to do?

Never fear, I’ve got some guidelines about:

• when to ask for a Non-Disclosure Agreement if you have an idea you want to protect,
• how to present the NDA if you are going to ask,
• what to do if someone asks you to sign an NDA (signing an NDA can often be a VERY bad idea – I’ll tell you why),
• and how this is all about setting boundaries with an open heart and you can just tell that’s a good way to go by the way it sounds, can’t ya?

This story will help you understand.

I have a team member who has a great idea. She says it’s a great idea, but I don’t actually know that because she hasn’t shared it with me yet.

Why? Because she is afraid that if she does I will take the idea and capitalize on it and cut her out.

That is a very good thing to be worried about.

I am notorious for hearing about a great idea and executing on it. I can make things happen.

That’s why she’s so excited to share the idea with me. Because she knows that I have the capacity to actually do it. And she also knows that ideas alone aren’t valuable – it’s the execution on the idea that is where the money’s at.

Yet, at the same time, she wants to be compensated for her concept.

Maybe not now, but later – when it happens.  Understandable.

Unfortunately, because she is asking for the NDA in the wrong way and at the wrong time, her idea may never make it to execution.

So that’s why when I saw self-described ambitious entrepreneur Zack Shapiro post on Twitter about whether an NDA he found on Google was legal, I had to jump in and save him from making a mistake that could crush his idea before it ever sees the light of day.

We don’t want to lose our ideas.  I get it.

But, here’s the rub, if we don’t talk about them, they are as good as lost.

You are not a mad scientist operating alone in your basement.

It’s very likely that your idea will take the pulling together of a variety of resources and people.

You have to talk about it.

So, it’s natural to think about an NDA and you should have a signed Relationship Protection Agreement (a soup-up NDA I created) with everyone you work with.  (Get a copy of my super comprehensive relationship protection agreement free here on the welcome tab of my Facebook page.)

But here’s the thing, you should never, ever  present an NDA before the relationship has been well-established.

Instead, establish your relationship before asking for a signed NDA.  Present as much about your idea as you possibly can in terms of concept and end result.

Elicit intrigue.

The first time an NDA should ever be considered is when the person you are presenting your idea to asks for more information.

Now, they are interested.

Until they’ve got some idea about what your idea/concept is, anyone who would sign an NDA does not know much about business and you probably don’t have to worry about them stealing your ideas anyway.

Which gets us into – when should you sign an NDA?

Never just say okay to signing an NDA.  It could be opening you up to frivolous litigation.

If you sign an NDA with someone who is litigious by nature and frequently feels things have been taken from them, you are putting yourself at unnecessary risk.

In the event that you hear the idea and you already have a project like it in the works, you could be risking a frivolous (but still expensive and painful) lawsuit.

I know a lot of people who appear to be great people you’d want to do business with, but their belief system is such that they are easily offended and think ideas are where the money is at. And they will do anything to fight for what they think is right. On principle.

This is not a person you want to be in a fight with.

So, before you every sign an NDA, make sure you know the type of person you are working with.

Make sure you know their values structure and that you understand enough about the concept they are presenting to know it’s not something you are already working on.

Whether you are the one with the idea or the one being asked to sign an agreement before hearing the idea, recognize that no matter which side of the transaction you are on, legal agreements are the starting point for the kind of dialogue that will tell you exactly the type of person you are dealing with.

When done right legal agreements are about setting boundaries with an open-heart, which is the key to healthy, stress-free business relationships that have the capacity to do a whole lot of good in the world.

If you have other questions about NDAs (when to sign em or when to present em) or any other legal questions like that and you want an answer you can not only understand, but that will help you see legal stuff from a new perspective, ask em in the comments below.

Because listen, when you’ve got your legal shizz in order, you are going to be way more creative and free than if you don’t.

Whenever I get frustrated that I’m not spending enough time on my own spiritual/personal work because I’m working so much on my business, the Universe has some way of reminding me that it’s right here.

The operation of my business IS my spiritual practice.

I’ll be coaching a client and hear myself telling her exactly what I myself need to hear in that moment.

Today, that came up when I recognized a major pattern of self-sabotage in myself by seeing it manifest in another’s business so clearly.

This is a successful woman who is very well known in the world of online business.  She appears to have it all together and in so many ways she does.

But, when it comes to financial stuff, she’s got nothing set up.  She just knows she’s got money coming in. Enough to cover current expenses.

And because she’s a master manifestor and is great at making exactly the amount of money she needs, she’s gotten by without financial systems up until now.  Gotten by is the key word.

Despite the fact that she’s making good money (mid 6-figures), she’s always worried about money.  (BTW, this is exactly why I created the Money Map.)

As a result, she has been unwilling to invest in hiring the right people.  So she ends up disappointed in every person she hires.  They never live up to her expectations.

Just this week she was interviewing a new potential team member and instead of hiring the $50/hour person with experience she chose the $15/hour person.

Her rationalization was that if she hired the $50/hour person her expectations would be extremely high and she’d likely be disappointed.

To avoid disappointment, she hired the $15/hour person with no experience.

Have you ever done that?  I sure have.

It’s a form of sabotage.  Setting ourselves up for disappointment.   Hiring cheap instead of good because 1) we don’t know what we can afford and 2) we are making decisions based on patterns & conditioning – things we want to avoid (in this case disappointment based on our “too” high expectations).

Operating in the dark and taking actions to avoid disappointment instead of to evoke joy and excellence.

The antidote is awareness.  Know what your business needs – both on the money side and the people side.  Make projections for the future.  Know what and who you need to run your life.

Know your numbers. Keep your eyes open.

Run your business with real conscious awareness and you will stop making self-sabotaging decisions from a place of fear and instead begin recognizing what’s real and true for you and your business.

It’s working for me.  It’s not easy, I can tell you that.  On a daily basis, I am tempted to make decisions from a  place of fear, but I am consciously building the systems and processes into my life so I can break free.

If you are a Stage 1 entrepreneur (or pre-Stage 1 and don’t even consider yourself an entrepreneur yet, but see yourself moving towards getting into business), you may be struggling with getting clear about exactly what you do and who you do it for.

It’s totally normal.

Even professionals, like lawyers and doctors, who you think would know pretty clearly what they do, struggle with this.

And even thought it’s perfectly normal, it’s something you really want to get clear on before you move through Stage 1 to Stage 2 and start taking on team members.

Stage 2 can be extremely expensive and painful if you do not have clarity of vision around what you do and who you do it for.  Leading a team and finding the right people are dependent on your clarity.

And that keeps a lot of Stage 1 (and pre-Stage 1) entrepreneurs stuck.

If you find yourself not moving forward because you are wishy-washy on who you serve and what you do for them or if you find yourself losing focus or flip-flopping constantly about it, it’s time to relax and do something.

I was coaching a private client through this last week.

She was totally stuck. Not moving forward. Frustrated. Annoyed with herself.

She’s been stuck between serving two markets – executive women unhappy in their careers and entrepreneurial women overwhelmed by their businesses.

Two great markets. Both of which she could help equally.

She was torn. Right down the middle. Paralyzed.

Couldn’t move forward with anything else because your whole business foundation is built on who you serve an what you do for them.

On our last coaching call, I told her to pick what I called a learning market. A starter market.

And to commit to giving herself 6 months to a year to serve this market and apply everything she is learning from us about constructing her business model, creating her 12-month marketing calendar, pricing and packaging her services, creating her message and her lead generation magnet, her website, everything – apply it to this market.

We came up with a very simple, clear, compelling statement of who she serves and what she does for them and she is going to move forward.

She was freed up by realizing that the market she chooses does not have to be her forever market.

She is going to learn on this market. And she may decide to keep it forever, but probably not.

She’s probably going to realize she can’t make enough money serving the first market she chooses. Or maybe she doesn’t have passion for that market.

Or something else.

Almost everyone I know who is or has what you would consider to be a successful Stage 2 or Stage 3 business has #1) started somewhere and #2) in many cases shifted out of the market he or she originally started serving.

So just relax and do something.

It really doesn’t matter what. As long as you are moving forward. Taking action. Making mistakes. Learning lessons.

The only danger to your success is not getting started.

When I first started out in business, I felt lost.

I had an idea.  A way I could help people.  A family to support.

I thought if I could just combine those three things in a way that made sense, I’d be golden.

With that limited vision, in August 2003 I set out on the entrepreneurial journey.

Looking back now, with the benefit of  years of experience and several businesses under my belt, I can see how helpful it would have been for me to have a bigger picture vision right from the beginning.

I would have experienced so much less frustration, stress and worry if I could have known where I was in the grand scheme of things, where I was trying to go and how to know when I got there.

But, back then I didn’t necessarily even know there was a there.  And I certainly had no idea where it was.

Now that I’ve walked the entrepreneurial path for several years (and gotten waylaid a few times) I can see the outlines of a map that I’d now like to share with you.

Had I seen it at the beginning, my journey may have been less frustrating.

If you are in the midst of building a business (or a practice) that you want to be able to count on, that you want to know makes a difference in the world and makes plenty of money, this map will help.

I’m sure you’ve heard people say “make your choices from where you want to be, not from where you are” and while I agree with this wisdom, I also know it’s critically important for you to be fully grounded in the reality of where you are or the decisions you make from where you want to be will be filled with angst and pressure.

Freedom in life and business means being able to rest in the present while taking daily action to move forward without angst or pressure.

With that in mind, accept the reality of where you are and don’t give up.

Here are the three stages you must move through if you want to build a sustainable, meaningful business that will make a significant impact in the world.

Stage 1: The True Solo

Stage 1 is all about brand new-ness. It’s about the idea, the vision, and just getting started and getting it done. It’s about figuring out the revenue model (where the money comes from) and getting on the road to freedom.

Generally speaking, you are probably working alone or with a partner. There is no team support or perhaps one person helping you out on a part time basis. There are no systems. And probably just one revenue stream, which will be your main product or service offering.

Some businesses (primarily those called “practices”) may remain in Stage 1 indefinitely. Owners stuck at Stage 1 may feel frustrated, tired (or exhausted), and as if they are not making as much of an impact as they’d like.

Stage 2: The Enterprising Entrepreneur

When you get tired of doing it all alone, you’ll bring on some team. That’s one of the major signs you’ve made it beyond Stage 1.

You’ll also begin to realize that there’s a pattern to what you do and how you do it.  Yep, you’ve got systems and processes.

You are still working pretty hard, but you are spending more time working on your business than in your business.  And you may begin to explore and implement additional revenue streams.

Financially, you are doing okay.  You know how you make money in your business and you are constantly surprised by how much money it takes to make money.  You’d probably like to keep a bit more than you are.

While you have a team, you are the one managing that team, for the most part.  You dream of the day you get to spend all your time doing the parts of your business you really love and let go of the rest.

Stage 3: The Empire/Legacy Builder

At Stage 3, your work can continue on without you.  You’ve very likely got multiple consistent revenue streams within the company and you spend your time working either on the business or in the business, but not both.

If you got sick, took a long vacation or the long permanent vacation, your business would continue.

You’ve got documented systems and process, a phenomenal team, and other leaders in the company besides just yourself.

The transition from Stage 2 to Stage 3 will be harder than you expect, at least that’s my current experience.  I’ll update you if that changes.

And if you try to make this transition too quickly, the whole thing will blow up in your face.  I have direct experience with that from my attempt to transition out of my first business completely too quickly and without the right team in place.

Until your business is sold and under phenomenal new management that you totally trust, expect to be involved.  You may have some passive revenue streams via real estate or investments and your business may have some passive revenue streams as part of its revenue model, but don’t expect your business to provide you with passive revenue as long as you still own it.

No matter where you are today and how far it seems you have to go on the journey, if you are in business for yourself, stop for a minute and celebrate.

You are working for yourself.  You are in control of your destiny.  You are on the road to freedom.