This past weekend at Ali’s SHINE event, I sat on stage as part of Ali’s diamond success panel and couldn’t stop the tears from flowing as I thought about the past year and how happy I was to be sitting there as a symbol of hope for the hundreds of women in the audience.

Only a year ago, I was so confused about my identity.  Mommy blogger?  Lawyer?  TV personality?  Author?  CEO? Something else entirely that I couldn’t even see yet?

Today, I realize my identity is not what matters at all. (Anne McKevitt, Ali’s mentor, would surely disagree.  But, that’s a whole ‘nother long blog post.)

What matters is who and how I serve.

Here are a few more of the big awarenesses I’ve gained over the past year:

• For the first time in ten years, I have discovered that first and foremost, I want to be with my kids a whole lot more.  I realize that in many ways I’ve used my work as a way to escape from the pressures of motherhood. Today, I’m a homeschooling mom and I want to be the one to teach my children how to be in the world.
• Over the past year, I’ve discovered how to relax into my feminine energy much more deeply.  I can finally stop trying to make things happen and allow.
• I’ve learned to say no to myself and others.  My value no longer comes from all of the things I can do.  It comes from saying yes to what I love to do and letting go of everything else.  Even when that’s scarier than heck.
• I’ve learned to set boundaries with an open heart.  At our first diamond meeting in Phoenix last year, I was in the process of closing my law firm after having sold it to a man who ultimately could not fulfill on the commitments he had made.  The diamonds helped me to see that what I was experiencing was a reflection of my lack of clear boundaries.  And that boundaries didn’t have to mean what I thought they did.  I could set boundaries and keep my heart open at the same time.  What a revelation!
• I discovered that often the path to playing big requires me to think a whole lot smaller than I’m used to, at least temporarily.  That’s a whole blog post in itself to explain.
• I’ve learned to stop doing so much.  Looking back at what I was letting go of last year, I did it – I let go of so much:

1. I stopped trying to fit myself into a box;
2. I unfollowed everyone I was following on Twitter and now only follow people I want to connect with regularly;
3. I turned my email inbox over to my amazing assistant Michelle;
4. I no longer spend anytime on facebook looking up old highschool peeps;
5. The lawsuit has been long settled and the law firm itself has been closed for several months.

• And I recognize that I’m still doing too much.

Did I have to invest $100,000 to have these discoveries?  Apparently, I did.

Many people have asked me if the investment was worth it.  Before I answer the question, I’ll ask you.  Especially if you saw me at SHINE this weekend.

Does it seem like it was worth it?

Photo courtesy of Flickr

I had just graduated law school was newly married and despite living where I grew up, really didn’t have any “in real life” friends.  The few friends I did have in high school were long gone.  And, at only 25, no one else I knew was pregnant yet.

So, I made friends online.

It was perfect.  I had spent the summer as a summer associate being wined and dined by one of the biggest law firms in the world.  I didn’t really have that much work and spent all day in my office surfing the internet researching anything to do with pregnancy and babies.

I stumbled across the November 1999 Moms Email group on Yahoo! Groups or it may have been somewhere else and we migrated over to Yahoo! after a big brouhaha within our original group regarding breastfeeding/formula or maybe it was cry it out/family bed.

Either way, I made my very first group of mommy friends and these amazing women supported me through my pregnancy and the first few years of mom life.  I don’t know what I would have done without them.

In my real life, I was so lonely it was painful. After my clerkship in Miami, I moved to California, away from my family, to start my prestigious full time job as an associate at a big law firm.

I was only 26 years old and from the outside it appeared all my dreams had come true – husband, baby, prestigious job, 6-figure paycheck, etc. …  But, I was so miserable.

My daughter who was just turning 1 cried constantly when I was at work.  My husband was staying home to take care of her and for part of the time his mother (who was dying of cancer) lived with us. I was the only new mom among my law firm colleagues and my husband had very little desire to make any mommy friends.

I felt so alone.  If it wasn’t for my online friends, especially the November 1999 Moms Like Me, I don’t know what I would have done.

Happy Birthday Ladies – each one of you has more than a little credit for the mom I am to Kaia and Noah today.  I love you.

Smart (at least for  law school purposes) meant an extraordinary capacity to study non-stop and have an intuitive sense for what the professors looked for in exam answers.

More than ten years have gone by and I find myself being forced to completely re-examine the meaning of “smart” within the context of my own children and I have to tell you, it’s painful.

I knew that being “law school smart” l was only one type of smart and that there were lots of other ways to be smart, but I was secretly grateful that I didn’t have to rely on any of those other ways for proof of my smarts.  And yes, I did feel as if I had to prove it, to myself and everyone else.

Now, ten years later, I’m reminded once again that the Universe never lets me get away with anything.  If I don’t work through something and learn to drop the conditioning, it always comes back up.

So here it comes through my kids.  They are not test-taking/law school smart.  I was reading at the age of three.  They were barely talking by two.

My daughter reads now, going into 4th grade, but only because we forced her to learn.  And she doesn’t like it.  I’m holding out hope that she might one day begin to love it.  But, I’m no longer holding my breath.

For the past four years, my daughter has been attending the most prestigious (and expensive) private school in our community.  We decided to apply “just to see” and then couldn’t not send her there after we got in.

I thought we could fit in, but no matter how much I wanted to, it didn’t mean we would.  I could fake it for short amount of times, but the truth was I was faking it and integrity is one of my highest values, so it felt really bad.

I was willing to have my kids be there even though we didn’t fit in if it was a good fit for them educationally.

After my son attended his first year there last year, I knew for certain, it wasn’t.  My daughter was more easily fit into their box, but after going through it with her and contemplating doing it with him, I recognize how much I just don’t want to do it.  I don’t want to tame my son.  Not like they want him to be tamed.

And now I’m faced with re-examining my own beliefs about what’s smart and what’s not.

As we embark on this journey of homeschooling, everything I ever thought about education and learning is being challenged.  It’s bringing up every fear, uncertainty and doubt I’ve ever had about so many things.

I’ve been silently dealing with my demons – alternating between letting it be, trying to control everything, and beating myself up for failing.  Today, I finally had enough.  I can’t answer these questions alone.  And I asked my online communities for help.

Jo (my BFF who is living here with me and homeschooling her kids and mine) asked me to do some reading, inquiry and investigation before I made any decisions about how the kids should be schooled.  She’s been unschooling since the beginning.  Her kids (same age as mine) are more advanced in some areas and less advanced than others than my kids (there’s that comparing thing) yet there’s a part of me that says “unschooling” is okay for her kids because they are inherently “smarter.”  My kids aren’t smart enough.  My kids can’t be trusted the way her kids can.

Where does that come from?

Why do I believe I can’t trust my children to know what they need.  I get it that the conditioned culture tells us we can’t trust, we must control, it’s up to us to know what their needs are better than they do and meet them.  They cannot be trusted to make smart decisions for their well-being.  And the piece of me that still desires to “fit in” to societal norms wants to agree.

But then, there’s this other piece.  The piece that says %*@! all that.

I can trust my children.  They inherently know and if I just give them the chance to re-discover what they know, they’ll remember everything.   While I know that this is the truth in my heart and soul, it scares me to death.

What if I’m wrong? What if they spend all day watching TV and playing video games because I’m too caught up in my own work to guide them properly?  What if they never learn to read, write and do math?  What if they always hate reading? What if … what if … what if … what if I fail in my most important job as their mom?

Thankfully, my spiritual foundation has somewhat prepared me for these what ifs.  I know it’s all perfect.  I know I can’t fail them.  I know I can trust.  But, damn, it’s hard.

I need to redefine everything I ever thought about education. And parenting.  And being smart.  And working hard.  And fitting in.  What a blessing.

I’ve already got a couple of businesses though and knew I couldn’t invest the time and energy necessary to give this one what it would need.

I set the intention to find someone I could build it with and shortly afterward thought I found just the right person in the mastermind group I had begun to participate in.  But, as we began to move forward she discovered a renewed commitment to her own business and handed the project back to me.

Rather than taking the whole thing on myself, I let it go once again, trusting that when the time was right it would happen.   (BTW, that’s generally a difficult thing for me to do – when I catch a vision and it sticks, I have a strong drive to move forward on it, which is how I end up doing so many things – but, I began to exercise patience, restraint and, yes, trust.)

It looks like the time might be right now.  IF 10 or so moms can come together to truly build something extraordinary based on a radically new business model of trust, common values, and without ego.

Over the past few months, I’ve found myself connecting with a community of mompreneurs who are each individually committed to serving moms in business.  A couple of these moms are already doing that in their own primary businesses.  A few are doing it in the way I am here, when they can fit it in amongst their other primary business activities.  A few want to serve moms in business, but haven’t figured out how it fits in with everything else they are doing.

We’ve gotten on the phone twice now to birth the beginnings of something that has the power to be transformational for mommy business™ owners throughout the world, if we can move beyond our own egoic desires for recognition and validation.  And when I talk about “we”, that by all means includes me.

As moms of young children and business owners, we are pulled in so many directions.  To even think about building something that will impact the world on the level I’m visioning will require full cooperation and using our greatest tools for working together.

It will give each of us real life opportunity to show up as the embodiment of our highest selves.  What does that look like when real life restrictions of time and money are present and we are coming together to build a business that creates real change and is far greater than any one of us individually?

I look forward to finding out!

The ultimate mommy business™ we birth is one in which all owners of the business will be equal.

Conflicts will be worked out with open communication.  Additional c0-business owners will be added only upon 100% consensus of everyone involved.  Participation is and always will be 100% voluntary  – our governing agreement will have clear provisions about what contribution looks like and clear “out” provisions for those who are not able to continue to contribute.

Some will contribute money.  Others time.  Each of us, our deepest gifts.

Is it really possible?  I believe so.  I’m holding the space and the vision.  And I say yes!

It’s now 11:00p at night (although only 8:00p to my body– which is still on Maui time) and despite running around like a mad woman all day taking care of my dog (who lost use of his back legs while I was gone) and my kids (my daughter had her first solo presentation at school and had no costume ready) and the fact that I’m totally exhausted, I’m compelled to document my awakenings and awarenesses from the trip.

The sooner I get it all down, the more likely it is that I will keep the promises I’ve made to myself.

Writing down your commitments (the more publicly the better too by the way) makes it far more likely that you will honor them and bring yourself infinitely closer to creating your life on your terms.

I was in Maui for the diamond mastermind meeting with my mentor Ali Brown.  It’s so interesting to look back at the post I wrote when I invested 6-figures to have Ali as my mentor and see how my thinking has grown and evolved and know that it will grow even more tremendously over the next 6 months.

Playing in a Mastermind at this level is absolutely transformative and what’s completely mind blowing to me is that rather than it pulling me into a whole new level of busyness and work, it’s bringing me to a place of almost stillness.  Absolutely mind blowing.

Ok, so stillness may be going a bit too far.    But, definitely a massive shift from the “it’s all dependent on me and I have to do all of it” mentality into an “I can’t do it all and why the heck would I want to anyway?” mindset.

Big shift and one that I’d embraced mentally for the past couple of years, but wasn’t truly embodying.

Okay, maybe now I realize that’s not true either.

Over the past several years, as I’ve been building my businesses, I’ve become very good at admitting I can’t do it all … at home.  I’ve gotten very good at delegating there (I haven’t cooked a meal in years and yet we always have family dinner together) whereas in my business I’m still hanging on to too many things that don’t really need me.  Things that I now realize are taking away from my family and what I really love.

This week in Maui I confronted an old demon of mine (my experience as a mother) and discovered what I’ve known all along but couldn’t allow to happen because my businesses were not ready … I really, really, really want to be a hands-on mom.

Not a full time stay at home mom. But a business owning, money-making, empire building hands -on mom.

I want to be the one to pass on values to my kids.  I want to be the one who teaches them how to be in the world.  I want to be the one to guide them towards their passions in life.

The only way to do this is to spend a whole lot more focused one on one time with them.

So, that means I need to work less hours.  The fact of the matter is there’s only so many hours in the day and I’ve got a lot of vision that wants to be created and brought into being.

I’ve finally realized that the way for me to work less (thereby having more time for my family while still being the visionary in my business) is to become the leader; not the manager and not the doer.

It’s time for me to embody this, not just know it to be true.

Looking back at what I wrote 6 months ago when I joined Ali’s diamond mastermind, I can see some interesting things:

1.  Now I REALLY Need to Give Up My Private Email.  This time, I have a plan that will work, I think.

6 months ago, I tried to give up my email utilizing the Tim Ferris Four Hour Work Week method, but that completely failed for me.  For a while I beat myself up, but then I worked through it and discovered that Tim and I are very different and what works for him and his relationship with his customers, won’t work for me and mine.  I needed to create a personalized system using the same concepts, but fitting my personality, character and way of being.  I’ll share my system with you and how you can create your own once I get it fully implemented and tested in my life.

2.  Still not a mommy blogger.

While I do write the intrepid mompreneur blog and I am a mommy, I’m still not a mommy blogger.  I’m a Mommy Business Blogger.  I’d have to say the biggest difference is that I have no qualms whatsoever about earning a fabulous amount of money from the work I do at home while I raise my kids.  The mommy blogger crowd seems to be a wee bit (or more) concerned about ruining their personal brand by actually making money.

For me, having it all means raising my kids as a hands-on mom while running a business from home and making oodles of money, loving what I do and changing the world. A Mommy Business Blogger!

3.  Twitter

My whole philosophy about Twitter has changed.  I don’t feel chained to it at all.  And because I’ve set up groups using Tweetdeck and can keep an eye on the streams of people who uplift me, I love, love, love that I can pop in when I can, connect with the peeps who want to connect with me, ask for support when I need it, give support when I can and I don’t have to feel any sort of obligation to do it or like I’m missing something if I don’t do it.

Oh, and by the way, if you are on Twitter, you may want to check out some hashtags I’ve started.  #mommybiz is for when I’m writing about and talking about Mommy Business type things and #values is for when I’m struggling with how to handle something with the kids.  If you love my spirituality, you’ll love my #agape tweets live from the Agape Int’l Spiritual Center on Sundays too.

I could go on and on about these little things, but the real big shift is that I am going to be way more hands-on with my kids than I have been up until now.

It feels so funny to say that out loud because I feel as if I have been incredibly hands on for a working mom.

But I can no longer deny that my kids need more than “hands-on for a working mom.”  My kids need 3-5 hours a day of my time, consistently and fairly focused.  Wowzer!  That’s a lot of time for someone who works like I do and supports her family and has 10 people counting on her for a paycheck.

Ok, let’s see how we can make this a reality.

I’ve spent hours wondering how it is that other moms can sit in front of their computers 12-14 hours a day and their kids seem to be able to stay with nannies, do okay in school, etc., and why it doesn’t seem to be working for us.  I’ve spent days wondering how I could make sure my kids needs would be met by someone else.

Finally, finally, finally, I’ve realized that I’m not really having it all if I’m not spending a significant enough amount of time every day with my kids to really feel like I am raising them to be the kind of people I want to hang out with.

I’ve been leading my businesses for the last 6 years and thanks to the work I put in, the learning I put in, the investment of time, money and tremendous effort, I can now turn more over to my amazing business teams and relax into the role of being a hands-on mom.

As I allow myself to sink into the possibility, I begin to discover that it’s what I’ve been working for all along.  I’ve been working so freakin’ hard so I could spend more time with my kids right now at this moment when they need more of me the absolute most.

I’m reminded that it’s all perfect and that source, the Universe, God, spirit (insert your term for it here) has a divine plan for my life.

So, with that very long introduction, I want to welcome you behind the scenes into my life running a mommy business and raising kids all at the same time and  in the same place … my home.

Through this video blog series I’m launching right away, you’ll get to see what it’s like to lead a business and a family at the same time.  I can promise you this – it’s not always pretty, but it’s almost always at least entertaining and I believe you’ll find it enlightening as you enter a whole new world where you really can create life on your terms.

PS – if you are wondering what happened to my big 40 days commitments, I’m no longer attending the daily meditations and I fell quite a bit off the eating wagon in Maui.  I’m not beating myself up for it in anyway shape or form though.  I’m so aware of the perfection of it.  It was exactly what I needed to prepare me for Maui so that I could be available to what it held for me.   WOOHOO!

Photo courtesey of rhettmaxwell

I’m here in Longmont, Colorado (outside of Boulder) at my girlfriend Martha’s house.

Martha is one of the girlfriends I talked about several weeks ago.  Like Martha, her house is absolutely beautiful and even with 8 kids here somehow it manages to seem hardly messy at all.

Martha’s in law school at University of Denver, studying for her last final and working on a domestic violence case for which she is guardian ad litem.  She’s handling all of it with far more poise and calm than I would have when I was in law school.

While I’m still feeling a little overwhelmed by the food and exercise commitments I’ve made, they are eased by being with my girlfriends who know how to do things like make salads and healthy meals (these are things that boggle my mind!) and make sure I’m adequately fed.

So much great stuff happened yesterday, that I’m not even sure where to start.  I’m definitely shifting a whole lot of energy as part of the 40 Days and Nights Program with Kristin and David Morelli.

Okay, so let’s start with the email I received from my nanny.

As you’ll recall, we’ve been having some challenges in this area.  Notably, my daughter has been telling me for a long while that she just doesn’t like the nanny and I had decided to make a switch, realizing that truthfully I haven’t been getting my needs met either.

Truth be told, we all knew 6 months ago that it wasn’t working, but I kept trying to make it work because my mind told me it was easier to stick with what I had than to start the whole process of finding someone new again.

How often have you done that? With relationships?  And employees? With houses and offices.  Of course, we all do!

Our minds trick us in this way.  Because the truth is, you know when you are merely tolerating something and when you really LOVE something.  Right?

Far too many of us are merely tolerating.

Side note:  At Ali Brown’s Platinum Mastermind meeting, she walked us through a release of tolerations exercise and this is when I started to get really clear about how I was holding back the joy I could have in my life by holding on to things I was merely tolerating and didn’t really love.

So, anyway, I’ve been tolerating the nanny.  I could tell she wasn’t happy working for us, but I could also feel she was trying to make it work.

Well, the whole truth about how unhappy she really is came out last night and boy was it a doozy.  She wrote me an email that can only be called a crucifixion!

Before I left for Colorado, I let her know how unhappy I was about her energy in the house.  I was no longer willing to tolerate it and if she was going to be with us another 6 weeks, I needed it to be different.

What I heard from our discussion is that it couldn’t be different.  I got that she was doing the best she could.

I also became strongly aware that it just wasn’t good enough and I was done compromising.  I told her I’d begin looking for someone else right away instead of trying to stick it out another 6 weeks.  What I didn’t know then is how quickly I’d have to find that someone else!

Part of our meditation in the 40days program was to really take a look at the people closest to us in our life.  Energy is contagious.

And the energy my nanny was putting out was clearly rubbing off on me.  It wasn’t something I could tolerate any longer.

Well, the Universe has a way of giving us exactly what we need, doesn’t it?

Yesterday, my ex-husband had an incident with a friend of the nanny’s who was doing her homework in my living room after he had specifically told the nanny he didn’t want anyone at the house while we were away.  (In case you didn’t know, my ex-husband lives in the garage apartment behind our house).  Basically, he told her she had to leave.

This incident apparently triggered a lot of emotions for my nanny and she wrote me a scathing email.

I won’t go into the details, but suffice it to say she ripped me apart as a mother and a business woman, totally judged my relationship with my kids, my relationship with my ex, and pretty much everything else about me. Ouch.

In the past, reading it I would have been outraged and hurt.

But, this time, I wasn’t.  I was grateful for her email.  Sure, it was painful to read some of what she wrote.   Much if tapped right into the guilt feelings I carry around as a mom entrepreneur trying to have it all and do it all.

Mostly I was grateful though because these are longheld feelings that she’s been stuffing down to try and make it work.  And it was these feelings that my kids felt and the reason they didn’t like her.  And it was these feelings that were seeping negative energy into our house.

So, I thanked her for her thoughts and told her that not only did she not have to live up to her commitment to give us 4 weeks notice, but that she wouldn’t have to spend another day caring for my kids.  I definitely don’t want her around my kids feeling like she does about me and my family and my way of parenting!

So, I’m going to figure it out – somehow.  I know God will provide all the support I need.  And even though I’m going on a week long vacation without my kids and leaving a week from Monday (!) I know it’ll all work out a-ok!

In the meantime, take a look at who’s living in your house, both figuratively and literally.  You are a reflection of the people who are closest to you.  What energies are they putting out?  What energy are you tolerating around you?  You don’t have to do it anymore.  Focus on raising your energy and watch how the people who can’t match that energy one by one drop away.

Side note #2: this process has been an ongoing process for me since my divorce and what I’ve learned is that as I raise my energy, people have dropped away.  Back in the beginning when that happened, I thought it was permanent.  That anyone who dropped away would be gone forever.  I’ve come to know that’s not true.  As an example, my ex-husband dropped away until he could raise his energy vibration to a point where we could be around each other again and now we have an amazing, supportive, loving relationship.  So, don’t worry too much about losing people who are really important to you as you raise your own energetic vibration.  If they are supposed to be in your life, they will come back when they are ready.

Okay, time to go play with the kids.  I didn’t even get a chance to tell you how in the midst of all this I manifested a Mercedes!  I’ll have to save that for later or tomorrow.  It’s an exciting story that really goes to show you how perfect it all really is when you open up to the possibilities.

Oh, and how I taught my son that people like to be around friendly, easy-going, fun people and that’s okay to be angry, pissed off and frustrated, but that it’s probably a good idea to take quiet time alone when you feel that way because people don’t really enjoy being around angry, frustrated pissed off people.  More on that another time too.

Photo credit: Makani5

My husband was staying home with our baby girl while I left the house at 6:30a to beat Los Angeles traffic and got home around 6:30p (if I was lucky), which was early by firm standards.

I had no time to make friends. I tried to find playgroups my husband would participate in, but he’s not a joiner to begin with and even less so with a group of moms!

I tried to hook him up with daddy groups, but this was before the stay at home dad became in fashion and there was slim pickings. It seemed most of them were centered around Agoura Hills, which was about an hour from where we lived.

He got together once with this one guy from Beverly Hills. They met at a park. His 2 year old was close to reading, ours was barely talking. My husband never went back. He couldn’t take the competition. I understood.

I don’t know if I’ve ever been that lonely in my life. I’m talking capital “L” lonely.

Just remembering back to that time fills me with sadness. On the weekends, I would pack up the baby for the beach and watch my husband surf.

With longing and envy, I’d watch the small groups of families with their children happily playing together while me and my little one sat by ourselves. I couldn’t figure out how to insert myself into their cute little enclaves of happiness without feeling like an intruder.

So I sat, sneaked glances and eavesdropped, hoping to come up with an opening that would be the perfect thing to say at just the right time.

I never did.

It all changed when I started looking at preschools for my daughter.

We found the perfect school and it was right down the street from our house.

I called it mud school because when I went for the tour, there were several kids playing naked in the mud. It was just our type of school!

Just before my daughter’s third birthday, she finally got to go to school and it was there that I finally found my tribe of women.

Joanne, who introduced me to God, was my first spiritual teacher, held me in her arms as I gave birth to my son (herself 6 months pregnant) and turned out to be my primary source of peace and hope as I navigated my divorce.

Martha, who hosted my beautiful blessingway ceremony prior to the birth of my son, had my daughter over to her house every day for months after he was born and attended La Leche League conferences and meetings with me (we were both leaders and radical breastfeeding advocates).

Judy, who I could always count on for a laugh, a sarcastic comment, and of late, a shared spiritual path.

Lisa, who had twins after I was done giving birth to my babies and gave me the joy of helping her take care of them on the night they were born.

These were my girlfriends. I had never had girlfriends in this way before and it was transformational.

Today, our kids are no longer babies. Four of us are divorced. We are each on a deep and everlasting spiritual path. Martha and Joanne live in Colorado. Judy in Ventura. Lisa is immersed in her twins. Joanne, Judy and Lisa are homeschooling. Martha is in law school. I’m busy as heck building big businesses.

And yet there is a bond between us that will never fade.  A bond created by raising children together.  A bond created by a shared parenting philosophy.  A bond created by supporting each other through births, deaths and divorces.

Tonight, for the first time in a lonnnggg time, I got to spend the evening with four of my best girlfriends, not as a business owner, or a TV expert or an author.  Just as me.   Boy, it felt good.

Can you relate when I talk about numbness?

Looking back on my 35 years with honesty, I’ve been mostly numb for a lot of it because the pain of feeling was too intense.

At 28, after years in an unhappy marriage that I was committed to staying in at all costs, I decided it would be fine if I just never had sex again.  That’s how shut down I was.

Fortunately, I had an experience that made me realize how crazy that was and just how numb I had become.  My body had literally shut off and when it began to come back alive, it was a massive shock to my system.

Shortly thereafter, I was divorced and rediscovering how to connect with myself, what it felt like to live inside my body, how to allow my body to become my own internal compass, and find all the answers I had spent years looking outside of myself for.

I’ll be sharing a whole lot more about this in the future and how you can turn your body into your primary guidance system, but for now, I want to let you in on what I’ve discovered about how I’ve been inadvertently passing on this numbness to my kids and you might be too.

Recently, we’ve been having some challenges come up with our nanny.

The long and the short of it for the purpose of this discussion is that Kaia doesn’t like my nanny.  Now, this is a huge inconvenience because our nanny is very good at taking care of the kids, getting dinner on the table and keeping things happening in an orderly fashion in our house.  Finding a new nanny and getting her trained is going to be a pain in the a$$, so I’ve been exploring with Kaia whether there is someway we can make this work.

My first inclination was to brush off her feelings completely.  “Oh, she’s not going to like anyone we hire because it’s not me” I told myself.

Then, I tried to give Kaia all the examples of the nice things the nanny does for her and helps her with.

Finally, I started asking her why.

Her response, “I don’t know, mommy, I just don’t feel like I like her.”  And that’s when it hit me that I was being presented with the perfect opportunity to honor my daughter’s feelings and not pass on the numbness that so many of us experience as part of our daily, unexamined existence.

If I continued to dismiss Kaia’s feelings or try to get her to change them out of my own desire for convenience, I would be passing down the inheritance of numbness.  Instead, I made the conscious decision to break the cycle.

So, even though it’s a massive inconvenience, we are in the market for a new nanny. If you happen to be looking for a great nanny in the South Bay area, I’ve got someone for you.  She’s super sweet, reliable, and trustworthy.  She’s great, my kid just doesn’t like her and because I want to teach her to trust her feelings, I’m going to honor that.

For those unfamiliar with Edie’s current business, Millionaire Moms Inc. is actually social media consulting firm dedicated to helping moms grow their businesses online
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And who better to teach moms on this topic than Edie, as she learned how to leverage and grow her direct sales business through social media before social media was even cool!

But going back to the start of her entrepreneurial journey, Edie was actually a nurse that got started in the direct sales industry when she decided to stay home and raise her kids (now ages 5 and 7). Now mind you, the notion of blogging and social media was still evolving in 2003, but Edie managed to build a large direct sales business entirely online—to the point that she belonged to the top 2.5% of her company’s leadership.

Yet, Edie didn’t stop there. Realizing social media was such a powerful tool that other moms could learn and utilize from the comfort of their own home, she then decided to start her social media consulting firm in 2009 to personally teach WAHM’s how to duplicate her tremendous success.

And within just a few short months of starting Millionaire Moms Inc., Edie now has a waiting list of clients looking to take advantage of her coaching and virtual networking skills.

I mean, who wouldn’t want to duplicate Edie’s success? In 2008 while just “dabbling” in direct sales (and simultaneously laying the foundation for her new consulting business), Edie managed to bring in an additional $55,000 to her household! That’s more than some of the teachers or local professionals I know that are literally slaves to their full-time jobs!

But beyond the issue of steady income, Edie sees her business ventures and the notion of “having it all” from a different perspective. She says:

“For me, it’s the ability to show my children that you can have a balanced family life while still pursuing your dreams. I do make sacrifices to grow my business, but I put first things first! Family is first always. Does that mean that I will make every soccer game or class party? Probably not! But I DO know that I will never miss something TRULY significant in their lives because of being tied to a job that I despise. Having it all isn’t always about how much money you generate. Sometimes it is about the opportunities you have to make a life while you’re making a living.”

She also credits much of her success to a very supportive husband, extended family and mentors from the Greater Houston chapter of eWomen Network. This network has literally inspired her to stay focused, get organized and keep reaching out for new levels in her business.

Finally, Edie does have one free and INVALUABLE tip for moms looking to “have it all,” which is: “Decide what you stand for and NEVER waiver. No amount of income is worth compromising your integrity. “

I couldn’t agree more.

Congratulations Edie and good luck with your new venture!

1. Your Full Name: Edie McRae

2. Please Describe Your Business or Businesses: I am a nurse turned WAHM who spent close to 6 years in the direct sales industry. I build a large business entirely online and belonged to the top 2.5% of the entire company’s leadership. After utilizing social media tools to build that business successfully, I decided to take a different path. I chose to step out on my own and help other women apply the power of online networking to their businesses. Millionaire Moms Inc™ is my Social Media Consulting firm.

3. What Are the Gross Revenues From All Your Businesses: Last year just over $55,000 (but was still in Direct Sales) However, with Web 2.0 tools becoming more mainstream, the growth of my business is explosive! I literally have a waiting list . ?

4. Number of Kids and Their Ages: Two Children, ages 7 and 5…both boys!

5. When Did You Start Your Business(es): I launched Millionaire Moms Inc™ in January 2009, but have been marketing online since 2003.

6. What Does Having It All Mean to You? For me, it’s the ability to show my children that you can have a balanced family life while still pursuing your dreams. I do make sacrifices to grow my business, but I put first things first! Family is first always. Does that mean that I will make every soccer game or class party? Probably not! But I DO know that I will never miss something TRULY significant in their lives because of being tied to a job that I despise. Having it all isn’t always about how much money you generate. Sometimes it is about the opportunities you have to make a life while you’re making a living.

7. What Kind of Support Do You Have At Home? I am married to the BEST man in the world. He knew that I could do this long before I did. I’m so blessed to have a spouse who loves me and supports me in all my endeavors. He even helps pick up the slack because sometimes I just can’t do it all. That’s where a great support network comes in to play. I also have a phenomenal extended family who cheers me on to success.

8. What Kind of Support Do You Have At the Office? Since I’m in a “virtual” business, I office out of my home. However, I’ve been fortunate to develop an entire network of femtors (female mentors) through the Greater Houston chapter of eWomen Network. They give new meaning to the phrase, “Roots and Wings”. The women of that group truly helped me to determine what I wanted to be when I grew up. They have been amazing sounding boards, cheerleaders and inspiration!

9. What is your #1 tip for other moms who want to have it all, but can’t figure out how to do it. Decide what you stand for and NEVER waiver. No amount of income is worth compromising your integrity.

When I was an associate at a big law firm working my butt off 12 hours a day, leaving my house every morning at 6am and not getting home until after 6p,missing my baby and miserable, people told me that was the sacrifice I’d have to make to collect a 6-figure paycheck.

They said I couldn’t have it all.  Or, if I couldn’t, I couldn’t have it all at once.  There’s trade-offs, they told me.

You can’t be a hands-on mom and make a lot of money.   You have to choose.  If you want to work less, you are going to have to take a pay cut.  Just accept that.

I refused.

There was a part of me that knew they were wrong.  Even though they were older than me, had been in the workplace longer than me, and were probably smarter than me, I knew they were wrong.  I don’t know how I knew, but I did.

And thank God I did.

If I had listened to them, I might still be slaving away, wearing the golden handcuffs, thinking I couldn’t have it all and do it all, at least not all at the same time.

I’m here to tell you and I’m living proof that I did, I am and you can too.

Today, I’m working from home on my schedule, making lots of money and getting to be a hands-on mom.  All at the same time.

And not only am I having it all and doing it all, but lots of women are.  We are figuring out how to buck the bull being spread by people who are constrained by false ideas of the way things have to be.

So, I’m launching a series here on my blog to show you that it’s not only possible, it’s happening, right now.

Each week or so I’ll feature a new woman who is having it all and doing it all in her life and in her business.  I’ll ask each woman the same questions and share her candid answers.

By seeing what’s possible for others, you will begin to grab hold of a new vision of what’s possible for you.

Because you can do it.  You can have it all and do it all … all at the same time!

I’m kicking off the series with my own answers:

1. Your Full Name:

Alexis Martin Neely

2. Please Describe Your Business or Businesses:

My primary business is the Family Wealth Planning Institute.  It has two focuses:  1) to  give lawyers the tools to run client-focused, systems-driven, heart-centered law firms that make a real difference in their clients lives and 2) to educate the American public about how to make the smartest financial and legal decisions for themselves, their families and their businesses.

Through that business, I wrote a best-selling book on legal planning for parents and I appear on TV as a legal expert.

My second business is the Dave and Alexis Coaching program.  Through this business I get to coach successful business owners on how to build multiple streams of revenue out of their core business and leverage what they already know and do  into a fulfilling business that helps loads of people and makes a tremendous difference in the lives of others.

3. What Are the Gross Revenues From All Your Businesses

Currently approx. $1,500,000

4. Number of Kids and Their Ages

I have two children.  The are ages 6 and 9

5. When Did You Start Your Business(es)

I launched my first business, the law firm of Martin Neely & Associates in August of 2003.  The Family Wealth Planning Institute was launched at the end of 2006.  And, the Dave and Alexis Coaching programs were launched in early 2009.

6. What Does Having It All Mean to You?

To me, having it all means helping a lot of people, raising great kids, being a great girlfriend, making a whole lot of money, having plenty of time for myself, and living a life I love without compromise.

7. What Kind of Support Do You Have At Home?

I have a great support network that includes a nanny who grocery shops and  cooks, a housekeeper who comes three days/week, an ex-husband who fills in on as needed basis, a boyfriend who reads to the kids and horseplays with them when I just need a break and a personal assistant who handles everything you can think of for me.

8. What Kind of Support Do You Have At the Office?

I have a fantastic virtual team that includes a COO to run the company, 4 full time team members to handle everything from project management to customer service and everything in between, and loads of per project team members who jump in on an as-needed basis.  We also have a part-time CFO, a bookkeeper, a CPA, and of course a lawyer.

9. What is your #1 tip for other moms who want to have it all, but can’t figure out how to do it.

Get clear about what having it all means to you.  For each of us, it’s different and there is no right way.  Start by spending some quiet time alone, not reading, not on the computer, not doing anything but sitting.  If you say you can’t find the time, do it anyway.  It’s the greatest gift you can give yourself.  Start with five minutes if that’s all you can do.

Get out a journal and write out what your ideal life would look like.  Don’t hold back anything.  Think as big as you possibly can with no holds barred.  As thoughts come up telling you that you’re crazy, keep writing and know you are on the right path.  Describe the life of your dreams in detail.

Each time your mind tells you it’s impossible, thank it for sharing and keep writing.  This is the beginning.  You don’t have to know how yet.  The first step is what.  The how will show up.

It’s about being afraid and doing it anyway.