For now though, I want to share with you an overriding message that keeps coming to me as we venture into this year that so many have been prophesying about.

The theories about 2012 range from the world coming to an end, to a new world power going into place that will overtake us all, global weather catastrophes, the second coming of Christ and much more.

I’d like to throw in my own prophecy, one that I think could help us all much more than any of the theories focused on anything outside of ourselves.

Bear with me because this might sound a little out there (especially coming from a Jewish girl who couldn’t say the word “God” without nearly gagging until about 6 years ago), but I urge you to hear it with your heart and not your mind.

The second coming of Christ is here, now.  We really are the ones.

No matter your religion or whether you believe in the existence of the physical being of Jesus the Christ at all (I was personally raised to believe that Jesus the person may not have even existed), Christ Consciousness lives within each of us, right now.

2012 is the year we will collectively wake up to this consciousness within ourselves, no longer feel the need to project it outward and instead begin living from this consciousness in our own lives.

Christ Consciousness has been described many ways, here are a few that help me to understand it more:

“Christ consciousness is the state of awareness of our true nature, our higher self, and our birthright as children of God. Christ consciousness is our living expression as a child of Spirit as we unfold our own divine life plan onto the earth plane: bringing heaven to earth. Living in the reality of our “christed” self is actually being fully alive and invested in who we truly are. In our “christed” self we live as inspiration for others to seek this for themselves so we can collectively move our planet forward into the divine plan for planetary transformation and glorification.” from the Center for Christ Consciouness

For you left brain intellectuals reading this, let’s examine this together.

You agree we have a higher self and a lower self, right? You can feel that within you, yes?  I know I can, even when I am totally up in my head.  And Christ Consciousness is simply the awareness of that higher self.

I believe that so many of us are working toward “being fully alive and invested in who we truly are.” This is the pursuit of purpose, meaning and fulfillment.

We put many things in our way — money, conflict, ego to name a few.

But, when you examine your true desires, do these words of aliveness, living who you truly are, and connection to to something greater than your small self resonate with what you really want above all?

Christ consciousness = alignment, atonement (at-one-ment), and a recognition that there is no more need for discord, disharmony, or separation.  We really are all in this together. And we can love each other through whatever comes our way.

I see people waking up to this truth all around me and as they do, their lives change, regardless of their circumstances.

My intention is to bring you examples of these awakenings throughout 2012.

In the meantime, I would feel absolutely fulfilled if you would share your own examples of Christ Consciousness, awakening, and coming into connection with your own higher self. How do you do it? How do you know you are connected?  Where do you see examples we can all connect to around you?

Writing about Christ Consciousness is seriously edgy for me.  As I mentioned earlier, it was not so long ago when saying the word God made me choke.  And yet, I know in the deepest place of my being that this consciousness is available to all of us right now and it will change the world.

It’s so easy to misunderstand, but I deeply trust this message and this truth, so I will take the risk of speaking in this language because I believe your heart, your spirit, your soul is ready to receive this message, even if our collective minds are not.

If this does resonate with you, please help me spread the word of this message of hope so we can rally around the good, the true and the beautiful.  It will take all of us.

It’s been a journey of discovery.  I let the not knowing paralyze me for a while and then began to realize that part of waking up meant moving forward even when I didn’t know all the details about how and could only see two feet in front of my face.  Two feet was all I needed and I was on a need to know basis.

Since then, I have been on a path of change.  If you’ve watched my blog or hung with me on Twitter or Facebook for any amount of time, you’ve seen that evolution.

From bad-ass lawyer at a big, prestigious law firm to hanging my own shingle to “million dollar business owner” to bestselling author and television talking head type to hippy lawyer to hippy creative entrepreneur to community builder/farm girl.

The past two years (reconnecting to my inner hippy and letting her out) have been, without a doubt, the most transformational of my life.  What led up to them was an intense period of making lots of money and discovering that my focus on money was as stage of evolution to pass through, not to get stuck at.

I see now that so many of us get stuck at that evolutionary stage (even many who calls themselves “conscious entrepreneurs” and cater to the “conscious business, spiritual, heart-centered entrepreneur” crowd) and today, more than ever, I understand why we must all wake up, break free and make the leap to the next stage of evolution.

We truly are the ones, it really is up to us and if we don’t do it, who will?  The path is not easy.

Evolutionary leaps require letting go of so much (often before being able to see exactly what’s going to be there when you do.)

I think of it as being on the monkey bars that require you to let go of one bar before grabbing the next and getting comfortable in the nothing – liminal – space.

In my experience, the fastest path to this evolutionary leap is by seeing and moving through my greatest fears.  Fear represents conditioning.  If I am afraid, it’s a sign that I will progress forward when I dive in to break through.

Fuckin’ a, that’s scary.

Much of these past two years has been learning to trust myself to keep saying yes, yes to the things I have spent my entire life avoiding.

I understand now that when 10% of us have done this work and woken up, the world will transform and look radically different in a way that very few, if any, of us can truly imagine.

The new world is cooperative, it’s collaborative, it’s harmonious, it’s connected.

If you would like to begin to get a vision of it, read Starhawk’s “The Fifth Sacred Thing”, Redfield’s “The Celestine Prophecy” or even the now extremely popular “Hunger Games” series.

What each of these books portends and I can feel so deeply alive in my body is that the evolution is coming — we will either willingly take the steps to make the leap and learn to live, work and love together or outside circumstances will force us into it. 

I generally prefer choice to force and I’m pretty sure you do too.

That means we need to wake up. We need to make the evolutionary leap from what evolutionary theorists refer to as Stage 6 or lower to Stage 7 and even Stage 8 cosnciousness.

We are the ones to do it.  Me and you.

(This article is one of the clearest explanations I’ve seen of what it means to evolve through the stages of conscious development – wake up – and why it’s so important.  I’ll be writing here on this blog about what it means on a practical level to make this leap over the coming weeks and months and what you can specifically do to wake up and evolve your consciousness.  You can also watch my weekly show about waking up to the truth about love and money.)

There are nearly 1.5 million fans of the Facebook page “I Am Conservative” and it’s very unlikely they are going to do it.  So it has to be us.

Here’s the really good news.  According to those who understand shifts in consciousness and have studied historical trends, it only takes 10% of us waking up to the next stage of evolution to create a cultural tipping point.

Only 10% of us wake up and the entire world shifts. 

Maybe that means wars end, maybe it means abundance for all, no more people dying of hunger or thirst, maybe it means we finally recognize that we are all in this together and start caring for each other differently.

Wouldn’t you like to be on forefront of that movement?  If so, wake up.

It’s not about the 99% and the 1% who have access to the money.  The Occupy Movement is on the right track, but It’s got the wrong focus.  It’s about the 10% who will wake up and make money and the corrupt systems totally irrelevant.

So, what does it mean to wake up?

That’s a great question and one I’ve invested the past ten years waking up to myself.  Here is some of what I think it means to wake up and make an evolutionary leap in consciousness (from stage 6 to stage 7/from tier 1 to tier 2/from non-integral to integral/yellow to turquoise), but I’m interested in your perspective.

• No longer being motivated by fear. This alone is a quantum shift for most of us who have spent our lives and made most of our key decisions based on a fear motivation.  It’s become normal.  Not after waking up.  Fear no longer has the same hold on you.
• Seeing your own anger, not projecting it onto others; radically forgiving and not being mean to yourself or others (no matter how awful it seems they have been to you.)
• No longer being motivated by the desire for a certain money size business –> we begin to see that it’s not necessary to obsess on how much money our business makes.(I’ve got some personal challenges around this as talking about my million dollar law firm is still a motivator to bring lawyers into our training programs and then wake them up to something so much greater.  But, I cringe when I see the conscious business owner set using the promise of 6 and 7 figure businesses to motivate evolutionary entrepreneurs. Hypocritical? Maybe.)
• Not embellishing, but instead speaking the plain truth.
• Not taking things personally.
• Only wanting to win if everyone wins — never wanting to win at the expense of anyone else.
• Holding two conflicting ideas as truth — paradox.
• Being able to relax into the right now (no matter how shitty it is) with an awareness that what opens up as a result of that relaxation is far better than you could have ever dreamed up on your own.
• Making decisions not based on survival, but on a desire for sovereignty.

To me, these are some of the hallmarks of a leap in consciousness that means we have woken up.  And when we do, the world does.  I’d love to hear if you agree with this list, disagree or have something to add.

I think this is the single most important conversation we can be in as we move into 2012.  I look forward to hearing your thoughts.  Please comment below.

Okay, maybe that’s not your experience.  But, it is mine.

This is a truth I don’t often allow to be seen or even willingly look at myself.  And I suspect that it’s something most of us share in common, even if we aren’t able to acknowledge it out loud.

I feel terrified to share my terror with you.

Yet I know it’s part of the path to releasing it.  Dive in.  Do what’s most scary.  Feel it.  Heal it.  So here I am.  Feeling the fear and doing it anyway. (Side note: that used to be the tag line of my blog when I called the blog the intrepid mompreneur, anyone remember those days?)

I find a myriad of ways to distract myself from the terror. Work. Drugs. Relationships. Conflict. Projections on to others or even the system as a whole.  Anything to get the fear outside of myself so I can avoid feeling the reality of it inside of me.

And yet some part of me has known that the only way to heal this terrified part of myself is to face it, to be with it, to feel it, deeply feel it and stop avoiding it.  It’s real. It’s a part of me.  I cannot be awake if I have pushed my terror into the shadows.

As you’ve probably heard me say (and I learned from Richard Grossman), you’ve got to feel it to heal it.

And what if you don’t?

My understanding is that when we bury our pain, avoid feeling it or pretend it does not exist that it will mushroom inside of us until it manifests into a health condition or other crisis that forces our attention onto it.  Waking up means we have to look at all of it, the good, the bad and the ugly so that we can clear out that which does not serve and make way for the true, the good and beautiful.

This past year and a half I have challenged myself to open my eyes and be willing to look at everything I have been avoiding.  To dive into those things I feared the most.

The other night, in ceremony, I faced my terror.  I sat with it.  I felt it.  Nobody could help me.  I was utterly alone.  At times, I wanted to die.  I questioned my relationship with God, saw the part of myself that lacks faith and is sure I cannot trust anyone or anything.

Finally, I allowed it to happen. I let go, stopped fighting, gave up, breathed into the fear and faced it.  There was no escape, no way to get away, the only way — through.

By morning, I awoke feeling lighter, less afraid, more aware.

I checked my email and found this:

What if, Ali, you’re already doing everything right, even though you’re not sure?
And the surprises along the way have only sped things up, even though it felt like they slowed you down?
And all that you want is now barreling towards you, even though you can’t see it?
And when it arrives it’ll exceed your every expectation, even though your dreams were huge?
Wouldn’t you be making some really weird noises about now? Whoohoo’ing, howling… maybe even whoohoo-howl-barking?
Well?
The Universe (get your own notes from the Universe here)

It was so exactly perfect.  Because of course my terror is rooted in a belief that I have fucked it all up.  I’ve been too open.  I’ve shared too much.  I’ve told the truth and let you in behind the mystique and stopped playing the games that keep people hooked.

Or maybe I haven’t let you in enough and I only think I have.

And then I am reminded … I cannot fuck it up.  Neither can you.

Open to the mystery.  Stay focused on what you really want and worry less about how you get there.  Breathe.  Laugh.  Love.  Relax. Relax. Relax.

Relax.

It’s all happening for you.

Can you believe that?

It’s the truth.

Let it in.

Yes.

I used to think freedom was having my own show on television.  THEN, I could say and do what I really wanted and I would be free.

I used to think freedom meant having a big team of people to support me so I didn’t have to do anything myself — from sending out an email to grocery shopping to cleaning my house — unless I could charge big money for it.  When I didn’t have to do anything but what I was most handsomely paid for, THEN I would be free.

Now, I know none of that is the truth.  They were lies that kept me trapped inside a big box of delusion.

I’m finding freedom in needing a lot less than I ever dreamed possible.  On the road, alone.  With a very small team of people supporting my Great Work and helping me get it into the hands of the right people. Doing my own grocery shopping, cleaning my own house, and speaking my truth.

I’ve learned how to quit, let things fall away and come back if they are mine.

I’ve let go of the idea that I have to keep up with the Joneses and pay all my bills on time just so I can protect my credit score and borrow even more.

I’ve dropped my expenses down to a number I can easily generate from wherever I am and whatever I am doing by leveraging programs and products I have already created that provide great value to the world.  I only take on clients when I really, really, really love their work and who they are.  Knowing my number (the amount of money I really need to generate to support my family and my Great Work) is freedom.

I’ve stopped worrying about what other people think and started sharing what’s really on my mind, even when it’s too much for some folks to take.

This is freedom for me. What is freedom for you?  And how can you take the steps today to create more if it in your life? (Hint: It probably requires letting go of that which you are most attached to, including things, relationships, concepts and ideas.)  It’s so worth it – what’s on the other side is indescribable.  Please share your thoughts on freedom.

Let me just say this, it’s been quite illuminating and I cannot encourage you enough to totally surrender to whatever it is that you fear the most.

Here is what’s happened for me since I did:

I have found a licensing partner for Money Map, LIFT and Eyes Wide Open and we are finalizing a 3-month agreement to try each other out before we make a lifetime commitment. The agreement process is going really well and for the first time ever I am not holding anything back and giving everything I possibly can. These are concepts I’ve long known and even coached others to do, but found very difficult to apply to myself. Doing my own work on myself is such a blessing.

The one challenge I am running into is that all the sudden there are two other potential partners very interested and now I am feeling a bit torn, but I will approach it with the gal I am moving forward with openly and directly so there is nothing hidden and keep you posted on the outcomes as well.

In the meantime, my focus on the lawyer program has paid off.  Because I made a number of decisions that have allowed me to seriously decrease my expenses (all part of the dive into my own money shadow), I was able to offer my program more affordably and accessibly than I ever have before.  That means we are welcoming 15 new Personal Family Lawyers and Creative Business Lawyers this fall.

And, in the midst of all of it, after nearly two years off television (I swore off doing it anymore until I could do transformational TV back in November of 2009 and then moved to CO to make it easy for me to uphold that promise), I’ve gotten two calls for programs that are really exciting and definitely feel as if they could meet the transformational requirement.

The biggest challenge is that I can feel the danger of getting sucked back into my workaholic ways because it’s all so stimulating. Fortunately, Craig is vigilantly monitoring my Vata (an Ayurvedic dosha that I apparently have too much of and gets aggravated when I get too stimulated) and helping me stay grounded, focused and keep my heart open in the process.  I am sure we will end up getting in a fight about that one of these days when my ego forgets what’s most important to me, but for now I am keeping the resistance at bay and reminding myself that relationship with self, family, source and earth is the key to my long-term happiness.

I spent the day on Sunday harvesting carrots, beets, tomatoes, Cauliflower and potatoes out of the garden with Noah and I cannot even tell you the joy I felt digging food up out of the ground.  Talk about abundance!  Who can be worried about money when pulling pounds of food out of the land?

And to think it used to be my biggest fear in the world to “run out of money” and have to move to the farm.  I guess it’s true what I have heard in the past that often that which we fear the most is the path to what we really want.

So I just want to really encourage you to really dive into whatever it is that scares you the most right now.  Look at how your resistance to what is may be keeping you from the joy you know is rightly yours.

If you fear running out of money, try to do it and see what happens.  If you fear being alone, do it for an extended period, voluntarily.  If you fear ridicule and criticism, do the craziest, silliest, most off the wall thing you can imagine as publicly as possible (kinda like getting married at Burning Man!)

Risk it all and you’ll probably find out you really have nothing to lose.

– — – If you like what you read here, you’ll probably love the Whole Truth About Love & Money.  We air every Tuesday at 11aPT/2pET.  It’s interactive, it’s alive, it’s been called addicting.  We’d love to see you there.  http://www.TheWholeTruthShow.com

Seeing myself in the eyes of other can be challenging, especially when it’s true and points out painful truths that are hard to look at.

Carol was right on when she wrote “There’s a woman I know who created a fantastic, media-friendly brand around her status as a category expert. She had it all — the tagline, the media presence, tons of exposure — and translated these assets into a six-figure business income.”

Yep, I had it all, alright. At least from the outside.  But I couldn’t help feel as if something major was missing.  I found myself pigeon-holed as a talking head lawyer going on and on about a fairly narrow topic that, while important, simply was not transforming the world.

No matter how much it massaged my ego, I couldn’t keep doing it.

Frankly, I was boring myself.

It wasn’t until I read this article by Michael Ellsberg on the Paradoxical Secret of Obsession Worthy Branding that I understood why I made the clearly bad business decision of, as Carol reflects, effectively trading in my tweed suite for a leather bustier.

A huge part of me (ego, perhaps?) was not satisfied with a successful business; it wanted (and still does) an obsession worthy brand that would create a transformational experience for those it touched.

So now I find myself lost in the uncertainty of exactly what that means, how to do it and what it even looks like.

I’m taking some solace from Jonathan Fields‘ new book, Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance, which I just downloaded onto my Kindle for support during this time of massive fear and doubt.

I’m not bored of myself now.

But, I am heading way into uncharted territory.  The Madonna syndrome Carol describes has massively hurt my income, there is no question about it.

A year ago, I had more money than I knew what to do with (as evidenced so clearly by the many ways I squandered it, which I’ll have to share in another post) and yet what’s so funny is I felt more scarcity and fear then than I do now.

Had I stayed the course, perhaps there would be a Personal Family Lawyer® in every neighborhood of the US and Canada by now.

Maybe I would have developed that software platform I longed to create for the lawyers I serve.

Perhaps, I would have millions in the bank instead of taking this next step of my own evolution with a whole lot of debt, not a lot of money in the bank and no more credit.

But, that’s not what happened.

I woke up and realized how disconnected I was from reality.  I found myself driven to shed everything I had constructed so I could discover what was real and true.  And I’m oh so close.

I stand here now naked, vulnerable and facing reality more directly than I ever have before.  Bad for business, yes.  Damn good for my soul.

Some of the realities I’ve discovered so far:

• The work I do with and for lawyers IS transformational and I can be the whole me while I do it, even though that freaks some lawyers out;
• There are people I considered friends who it turns out were only interested in me when I had lots of money to throw around and I’m sad about that;
• Doing laundry, making my bed, grocery shopping and cooking is really good for me and I definitely don’t want to do it forever;
• I don’t have to build a big business to be valuable and make a difference in the world.

There’s more, but I want to finish this post and get to bed because my ex-husband and I are taking the kids camping tomorrow.

So, that brings me back to the Course.  Days 7, 8 and 9 are focused on helping me to remember that my thoughts are not what I think they are.  They don’t mean what I think they mean.  And I don’t have to be attached to them because really they are representations of the past and take me out of the present.

Easier said than done, of course.  My mind is insistent that I have royally screwed up and finds all sorts of ways to try and convince me of it.  When I believe what it says, I become paralyzed, overwhelmed and stressed out.  I get short with my kids, feel pain in my body and just want to get in bed.

When I can keep my mind in the present, focused on the reality that all is well right now in the moment and that all my needs are met as they have always been, I feel creative, expanded, and that everything is possible.  From this place, I can serve the world and I feel great.

What about you?  Can you accept the possibility that your thoughts do not mean what you think?  That every thought is a mere reflection of the past and actually blocks the truth that is alive in the present moment?  How would your life be different if that were the case?

Please keep sharing in the comments.  I’m curious about your reality and how all this lands for you.

If you want more reality (not just mine, but an invitation to become more aware of your own as well), you may want to check out the new blog Craig set up for the show.  You can see highlights from the show curated by Craig and the rest of the community as well as bonus content we’ll be adding over time.  And if you haven’t joined us for the show itself, I hope you will next Tuesday and share some of your truth with us during the live show chat.

Now, though, it’s because of Burning Man.

For the past 4 years, Burning Man has been a chance for me to deconstruct my personality and re-evaluate my life. This year was no different, except the deconstruction has been in full force for some time now.

Perhaps this year, Burning Man will mark the beginning of my re-construction.

A few things became glaringly obvious during this year’s journey to the desert and back again …

1. Self-Care is the missing foundation required for me to impact the world at the level I so deeply desire.

This one has been tough for me.  My ego is absolutely certain I’m here on this planet, at this time, to help millions of people wake up.

My impact, while large by some standards, has felt tiny compared to my grand vision. Attempts to grow my reach have only left me more and more frustrated. I’ve exhausted myself in this pursuit, at the expense of caring for myself, my children and my relationships. Self care feels like a drag. Unproductive. Not fun… at all. That faulty view-point completely reversed last week around sunrise, after a long, painful night of deconstruction in the desert.

What I discovered this week is that my beliefs about this are hiding a deep sense of unworthiness.  I am desperately afraid that if I go within and focus just on myself and my family and my beloved, the work of the transformation of the world will pass me by, happen without me and I will be left out altogether.  Thanks to the guidance and wisdom of a few friends who see more clearly than I do, I now understand that the greatest gift we can each give the world is our own personal healing and transformation, and I am no different.

Imagine, if we all went inside, took care of ourselves and did our own internal work before trying to help anyone else … the world would transform all on its own.  My ego feels afraid of that and yet I know it is right.

2. When I FULLY let go, I open myself up to receive… and be met.

My M.O. has been to make loads of money so I would never have to be dependent.  I first learned this from my mom as I watched her depend on my father for her well-being and be let down again and again and again and again.  I swore I would never be dependent on anyone, and especially not a man.

And then I wondered why I never felt fully supported. Again and again, I tried to solve this problem of not feeling supported by hiring more and more people, throwing money at them because then they could not desert me.  And yet, they did.

It is only by becoming deeply vulnerable – letting it all go and literally having nothing – that I have been opened enough to see that all my needs are always met. I can simply receive.

This became clear on the playa when I was literally without cash to fill my RV with water and buy coffee at center camp (generally speaking, Burning Man is a gift economy and no cash is necessary, but you still do need it for things like ice, coffee, and dumping/filling the RV). When I reached into the pocket of a coat I had borrowed to find $10 for coffee and my girlfriend filled my RV with water without me even asking, I got it in my body — all my needs are met, all ways, always.

When I feel myself getting stressed out about not having enough money, I can now remind myself, I don’t need to hoard, reserves are no longer necessary, my needs will be met.  Yours, too.

3. I am powerful beyond measure, but only when I recognize the truth of who I really am and drop the bullshit.

Over the years, I have built a wall around me.  A wall of seeming power and superiority.  My business success led me to believe I was something special, hot shit, all that and a bag of chips.

This superiority complex kept me separate and, in many ways, small.

This week at Burning Man, I set an intention at the beginning of the week to, ‘Connect with the Unknown.’  My integration word leaving the week, ‘Humility.’  I finally got my eyes opened to the reality that I am highly UNDER-developed in most areas of my life and I have a LOT of work to do on myself. Over-compensating with fame, fortune & ‘success’ has blinded me, and many others, to this reality… and it stops now.

By committing to do the work of healing and transformation in myself, my ability feel and help others feel the full power of who we are becomes activated in a way my 1-dimensional appearance of power & success has been hindering all along.

It is time for me to face everything I have spent my whole life avoiding, tear down the constructs that have kept me shielded from reality, and accept the truth of who I am.  Only then can I live into my full purpose of helping you see the truth of who you really are.

I feel deeply confronted by all of this, and in deep awareness/trust that it’s all unfolding perfectly.

The final resolution/revolution that I am being drawn to is that I have used workaholism, business and constant creation of more, more, more to avoid doing the internal work that I must do for my own transformation/healing.  I told myself I had to do these things – and at the time I did – but no longer.  So, I am engaging in a massive restructuring of my life & how I live it, both internally and externally.

My calendar is more open than I’ve seen it in years. And that scares me.

With the clarity & support of my partner Craig, I have committed to an Integral Transformative Practice (ITP).

Craig & I before the Man Burns

It is still shaping up, but aims to include daily writing and dancing, weekly singing, a mentored tantric practice with my beloved, authentic relating practices with my community, and some sort of regular systems practice within the businesses, which begins with a massive 80/20′ing of all business operations and revenue streams. I feel like I’ve created enough for now, and I’m ready to ‘get small’ and right-size my life, do the deeply personal work of self-care, and grow myself up from a place of deeper connection with Source, authentic connection in my community, and support it all with a business designed to serve my development, not the other way around.

You’ll notice that meditation is not on this list.  I’m still debating as to how best to integrate meditation into my path.  I pray daily, but not during any specific time, more so as a moment by moment, ‘please God show me the way,’ kind of thing.  I’d like it to be more structured, but am finding resistance to it. Perhaps this will spontaneously shift as other areas of practice help me ground in.

And most of all, I am committed to confronting all that I have been avoiding, the ugly parts of myself that I have hidden with my superiority and specialness so that I can find the truth of the powerful woman that I am.

I’m curious about you … do you have a regular practice, spiritual or otherwise?

Are you committed to seeing that which you have spent your life avoiding? If so, how do you do that?  Please share with me so I can feel connected to your heart and find support for my own path to seeing what I’ve been hiding, repressing, denying & simply neglecting inside myself.

I want to share all of it as it’s happening.  I have scores of half complete posts that I haven’t had time to complete.  And then I wonder whether that’s better anyway because Danielle LaPorte is uber-clear when she says “Do not, I repeat, please don’t teach about your personal learning when you’re in the hell of it.”  I’m definitely in it.

So I’m struggling with how much to share in the here and now of it and how much to share later, after it’s all shaken out.

I’m scared something will be lost if I wait.  And I so want to be totally transparent as it’s happening.  So few people are.  You hear about their bankruptcies, divorces, business collapses, death sequences only years later after they have pulled through and turned it all around, but don’t you wish you could have been there with them when it was happening to see how they made it through?  I do.  And I want that for you too.

For now, writing it out doesn’t seem to be happening, but I am talking about all of it as it’s happening on the Whole Truth Show, each Tuesday.  Maybe I’m being too transparent, letting you in too  much.  But, I really feel as if that’s the biggest gift I can offer the world — truth, as it’s happening, no holds barred.

Sure, I can teach you about marketing, business models, systems & structures (and we do talk about all of that on the show in the second and third hour), but lots of people can do that.  What few are willing to do is really let you in on what’s happening behind the scenes.  I am and do.  In fact, we are covering the deconstruction of one of my businesses today, the radical new business model I rolled out to my team yesterday and how you might be able to step in and take it all over if you are the right fit.

Tune in to find out what I mean. (Opt-In at http://www.TheWholeTruthShow.com to get to the live show)

This week’s show is the last before we leave for the Burn on Friday.  We’ll take a week off and then be back on September 6.  I hope to see you there.

It’s one in which we come together, to support each other, give each other the benefit of the doubt that we are all here for the common good, and remind each other of that reality, when we each individually forget.

It’s a world in which our resources are unlimited because we have figured out how to live, work and love together instead of against each other.

In this new world, we are united, we are one, we are all aware of that reality and live in unity.

Can you imagine such a world? Have you? Does it really exist? Can it ever?

Tonight, I wonder and I feel scared and sad in that wonderment because if not, what hope do we really have for the future?

If we (those of us who have all of our needs met and no real reason to fight) cannot figure out how to get along, love each other, live together and truly connect with the truth of who we really are, beyond the fear, ego, guilt, shame, worry and doubt, nothing else really matters — whether our businesses succeed or fail, whether the dollar drops to zero or we extend the debt ceiling, or whether we run out of natural resources – it’s all meaningless if we cannot get beyond the conflict that tears us apart.

I see people I love carry so much judgment with them and project it on to others – unwilling to examine their own beliefs and fears to see where they are arising within them, coming up to be healed.

I can feel how far we are from the universal peace I carry in my heart as possible.

If people I love and hold dear are so full of judgment and condemnation, what can that possibly mean for the rest of the world?

Why is it that we who truly have our needs fully met must look outside of ourselves and create a story that some other has bad motives, is trying to do something to us, manipulate, or harm us?

What would happen if we fully dropped that story and instead let down our guards with the intention of finding more heart, more connection, more love, more truth, more openness?  What if we each took more responsibility for our own experiences and reactions?

What if we were willing to give each person we met the benefit of the doubt, assume their intentions are good and communicate directly, honestly and openly when we feel otherwise?

What if instead of holding our judgments inside or talking about them with others we owned our own projections and stopped transferring our fears of our own inadequacy onto another?

I think this is what it means to wake up.  Radical personal responsibility, ownership of our own experience, looking within for the divinity and recognition that there is no other.

I am you, you are me and we are all together.

So tonight, I ask you to remember.  Remember who you really are.  Remember who I really am.  Remember why we came here.

Please, let’s wake up and remember together …

Addendum to post:  Since I posted this and shared it, a friend challenged me with the comment that if I really want things to be different it has to begin with me.  I have to own my own projections and model what it might look like to take radical personal responsibility for what I am seeing in the world rather than issuing a nebulous call to the rest of the world. He is right.

Because it’s late and to do this requires intense awareness, clarity and presence, I am going to do just that in my next blog post — I will step up and take a leadership role in modeling what I am asking for here.

If you have any insights, articles, or processes that would support me in taking radical personal responsibility for my own projections, I would appreciate you sending them my way.   I yearn to model something different because I know that is the only way the world around me will change.

“What gives me the greatest spiritual confidence is the knowledge that I’m moving. I know that I’m continuing to develop. Philosophically, spiritually, personally, I am not in the same place I was a decade ago, a year ago, or even six months ago. And as long as that’s the case, I will have the confidence to stand up and talk about evolution.

The problem for most people, as I see it, is that they are not moving. They’re stuck at some place they reached decades ago. In an evolutionary worldview, the raison d’être is movement, change. The highest goodness is actual development. Are we evolving? Are we developing? If we’re stagnating, the universe cannot evolve through us. If we are not moving, the evolutionary process is stagnating. Of course, it’s not something we are deliberately or consciously doing, but because of our ignorance or unenlightenment, we are actually inhibiting the evolution of the interior of the cosmos.

If we have the courage to embrace this radical perspective on ourselves, we awaken to an enormous evolutionary imperative to get moving, so that the universe can get moving through us. From the perspective of a process that is trying to get somewhere, there is always a tremendous urgency—a creative urgency, an ecstatic urgency—for you to evolve. You and I are vehicles through which the process can develop. Is your self receptive? Is it open, transparent, surrendered, and committed enough to be a vessel for that creative urgency? When you get moving, your human body, personality, soul, and spirit becomes an expression and a manifestation of the evolutionary impulse—incarnate and always moving.”

These words from Andrew touched me greatly because I am in a deep process of personal transformation and evolution and what feels like constant movement.

I know this constant movement looks insane to some of you.  It feels pretty wild over here too.  And yet, I so strongly feel as if it is what wants to happen through me.

The other day, my dear teacher and friend, Charu, said she thinks of me as a modern day Howard Hughes.  I didn’t get exactly what that meant, but have the sense it has to do with this movement that I feel compelled to allow to come through me, no matter how nutty it seems.

So, I’m going to keep moving. What about you?  How is evolution showing up in your life?

PS – we did a run through of our new show “The Whole Truth About Love + Money” this past week and WOW was it fun!! We are going to be doing a lot more of that.  Watch your box for more information on how you can participate and receive free coaching as we broadcast live every Tuesday.