Comments on: Don’t Settle & Don’t Give Up.

By: Christy Rounds

Christy Rounds — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:57:54 +0000

I just finished listening to your interview with Carley Knobloch. It's inspiring to hear your story about not allowing other people to define your happiness - finding success on your own terms.

My husband and I spent the past decade settling in small ways as he was lured from company to company with the promise of big money. He did a great job negotiating work-at-home arrangements, international travel for the family when he had to travel abroad, etc. But it was always on someone else's terms.

We finally realized that the only way to craft a life filled with things that matter the most to us - i.e. three little kids, 2 months of travel annually, living abroad for a year, really fun house, etc - was to have our own business. So we started THREE. (you've got to figure at least one will blow the roof off, right?)

Now we're up to our ears in website development, warehousing / fulfillment solutions, developing an iPhone app, hiring social media consultants and PR firm, etc. But we're having more fun than we've had in years. Best of all, we're teaching our kids to live life on their own terms. It's soooo worth it!

I'm sending positive vibes your way and wishing you WOO-Freakin'-HOO!

By: thereseskelly

thereseskelly — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 10:12:34 +0000

Thanks Alexis for this inspiration.
We women do tend to talk ourselves out of our desires.
So I am working on connecting with my 'princess-self' and hold firm on what matters to me the most!
Thanks for being such a way-shower for all of us.
Blessings,
Therese

By: samanthaflick

samanthaflick — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 03:17:28 +0000

The whole thing about women revising their needs and it holding them back just rings so true to me. I was an extremely strong, intelligent woman who got into a relationship that turned abusive very slowly… and I stayed in it, basically out of fear of being an ungrateful bitch. It was only when I decided to stop settling for “good enough” (or “loved at all” in my case) that I got out of it.

Point is, not being able to say “I deserve better” doesn't only hold you back- it brings you down, and how low depends on how long you wait to say it. Once you make it a constant truth, there is no limit to how high you can go, or at least that's how I feel.

By: Alexis Martin Neely

Alexis Martin Neely — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 07:38:16 +0000

Yeah baby!

By: Alexis Martin Neely

Alexis Martin Neely — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 07:37:58 +0000

Awesome! I love to hear when it works.

By: Alexis Martin Neely

Alexis Martin Neely — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 07:37:36 +0000

Thanks Jonathan. I'd be interested to hear how the justification to settle is different for men than women. Do you revise your expectations when they aren't getting met by convincing yourself that your expectations must be too high?

By: Sunshine Boatright

Sunshine Boatright — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 05:02:17 +0000

I had been holding some things back as well. Until I realized that that was not why I was here. Not my purpose, not how I was meant to live. When I unleashed all that was within with the people who needed to hear it, I was pleasantly surprised that I was met with acceptance & that it was exactly what they were needing from me. Great job on the new blog & not settling!

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 02:51:59 +0000

I love your posts Alexis. I'm fascinated by human nature - why do we this? Why settle for "good" when "amazing" is definitely out there? I guess sometimes in the moment it's easier to settle, but never in the long run. We get one kick at this thing called life and my motto is to go for it. I'm always a helluva lot better off for at least trying and failing than never trying at all.

What's that saying? "Shoot for the moon cause you'll at least reach the stars" or something like that.

I've been settling in one area of my life and it's driving me crazy because I know there's more out there - but getting the "more" takes a bit more blood/sweat/tears to get. But settling is killing my soul.

So. I'm ready.

Thanks for sharing - I always think no one else ever has the same stuff going on that I do. So refreshing to hear the true goods from someone else.

Hugs.
Jen

By: brittmichaelian

brittmichaelian — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 03:58:30 +0000

Alexis, I am not sure if you are experiencing a lot of the same things as me because we are friends or because we are the same age or what… but every time I read one of your posts it is ALWAYS exactly what I am dealing with! (only you have a much better way with words when talking about your own stuff). Thanks for this post I needed someone to clarify why settling sucks. LOL.

BTW, if you need to chat, you know the number. Either way, as soon as you are there, let me know because we need to have a big friggin' BURN THE HOUSE DOWN because the roof has been blown off party!

By: Andy Fogarty

Andy Fogarty — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 03:24:20 +0000

I agree with Mr. Fields up there.

I've been one of those guys that's walked away and settled because I thought that was the right (Daddylike) thing to do. However, it didn't take very long to realize the only roof I was going to blow off was the one my head.

It didn't make me feel like a more responsible parent, husband, or human being. I felt like a trap, and worse, I couldn't imagine teaching my girls to follow their dreams when I wasn't.

Now, I love what do. I feel like a responsible husband, parent, and human being. I have the FREEDOM to go out there and make it happen.

Great Post!