It was late 2008. From the outside, everything seemed to be going great …

I’d just published a bestselling book on legal planning for parents, I’d recently appeared on the Today Show, my business was on track to bring in more than a million dollars of revenue for the year, and I was teaching lawyers how to
serve their clients in a new way.

And yet, I felt stuck, flat, like something was missing.

I knew there was something else … something more or perhaps it was something less. I didn’t know; I just knew it was … something.

I could almost taste it.

It was from that place that I attended Ali Brown’s last Online Success Blueprint Workshop and made the commitment to myself to say yes to the highest level program she offered to the group, no matter what it was.

As I sat in my chair right before Ali made her offer, I said a silent prayer that what she offered would be less than $50,000.

It wasn’t.

Her diamond program required an investment of $100,000 and I burst into tears.

I cried because I knew I was going to do it even though it was a huge stretch. I cried because I knew I was going to have to tell my boyfriend and family I was doing this and they were all going to think I was crazy. I cried because I felt I was a little crazy for even wanting to make this investment.

And I cried tears of relief because I didn’t feel flat anymore.

I felt exhilarated with the possibilities of what was to come.

After completing my application, I went to sleep that night ready … ready for the next level, even though I had no idea what that was.

It’s been nearly two years since that night and it’s time for me to share with you exactly what my $100,000 investment brought about.

I’ll be doing that over a series of posts over the coming days and weeks.  And I suspect you may be surprised at what you read.  I’m nervous about sharing what’s happened over the past couple of years, but at the same time excited. Kind of.

In the meantime, if you are a powerful woman ready for the next level in your business and life, but do not want to invest $100,000 to get there, I’ve put together something amazing for you and it doesn’t require you to invest $100,000.

This program was launched at my inaugural Powerful Feminine Leadership event in Los Angeles last week and immediately 6 amazing women poised on the brink of their own next level stepped up to apply.

The group will be made up of a maximum of 12 women total and I’ve priced it so it will be a stretch for the right women and at the same time allow me to be exceedingly choosy about who joins because as you’ll see in the posts to come, so much of the power of these groups is about the makeup of the mastermind.

You’ll also notice there is a fast action discount off the regular investment. You can lock that in if you send in your application before Tuesday, August 3rd. After that, if there are still spaces available, I’ll be planning a full launch campaign, which will increase my investment of time and energy and therefore your investment as well.

So if you are even thinking this may be right for you, jump on in now and complete the application.

I’ll see you again in the next couple of days with more of my experience of investing $100,000 in a mastermind program and what came about as a result.  I think you’ll be surprised.  I definitely was.

At SHINE and afterwards so many women approached me to ask if it was worth it.  Am I glad I did it?

Since I’ve been teasing you for a few days with the answer, I’ll give you the short answer right away.  Yes, I am grateful to have made a $100k investment in Ali Brown’s diamond program.

That doesn’t mean investing $100k in a coaching program is right for you though.

If that’s what you’re wondering, let’s explore why I’m grateful I did it and how that might relate to you and your experience.

1.  I needed a major challenge.

I had hit 7-figures in my second business, written a book, appeared on TV and was ready for the next level.  I thought I knew what the next level was and that the diamond program would bring me closer to it.  It turns out the next level was totally different than I thought it would be.  And I’m so grateful to have discovered it.

2.   I was ready to take full responsibility for my results.

I hired my first coach ten years ago when I still worked at a law firm.  I was so resistant to it.  Thought I was too smart for coaching. Thank God I got over that!  Had I not, I’d probably still be at that law firm wondering why I never made partner and blaming everyone else for it.

Since then, I’ve had many coaches and become a coach myself.  What I’ve noticed is that those new to coaching (including myself back in the day) have a tendency to be stuck in a victim/blame mentality.  What that means is that when things don’t go well or you don’t appear to be making progress, you’ll be tempted to blame your coach.  It’s a natural thought pattern if you haven’t done some serious work around personal responsibility.  And it’s the exact thing that will keep you stuck exactly where you are.

About half way through the year this year, I began to ask myself if I’d received my money’s worth from the diamond program.  It was a great awareness point for me.  I noticed how my mind wanted to find all the ways the program wasn’t worth it.  Victim/blame mentality was on the field.  It was the perfect opportunity for me to practice personal responsibility.  I got to consciously say to myself “Alexis, it’s half way through the year.  What do you need to do to ensure you don’t f*%! this up and waste the $100k you invested in this program.”

You see, when you make the investment in a $100k program, the coaching is a very small part of it.  You can hire an amazing coach for much, much, much less than $100k.  You make the investment in a $100k program because 1) you need to kick yourself in the ass and shake things up and that’s what it’s going to take for that to happen for you; 2) you want to play with other high level business people who are also taking full responsibility for themselves; and 3) you will make sure it’s worth it for you, no matter what.

So, at the end of the day, what was it that made it worth it for me?

Well, besides everything I wrote about here there are a few other benefits I received from my investment:

3.  I’m a natural voyeur and I learn best from watching others (not to mention, I simply love to watch).

Some of my biggest learnings came from watching behind the scenes as Ali made a major shift in her business and her life (those lessons will have to be a whole nother blog post).  In addition to getting to watch Ali’s big shift:

I got to watch Lisa Sasevich go from $130,000 per year to more than $2,000,000 this year without making a single change to her website. (Made me realize how much time/effort most of us waste on stuff that simply doesn’t matter in the grand scheme).

I got to watch JJ Virgin build an entire brand from scratch.

I got to watch Kendall Summerhawk double her business and launch a brand new certification program.  Plus, seeing how her and hubby Richard work together has been sweet.

I got to watch Sheri McConnell focus, say no, let go and step into her power and become a knock-out, red hot mama along the way. (Interestingly, several of us got HOT thanks to JJ’s coaching – I’m down below 125 lbs for the first time in 10 years, Lisa S. is smokin’ and even Mike Reese is looking pretty svelte).

And I got to watch each of Karen Knowler, the PRTakeOff girls, Mike Reese, Ciara Daykin and Michele DeKinder-Smith make HUGE leaps in their businesses.

Over the next several months, I’ll share with you the specifics of what I learned from watching.

4.  I discovered I no longer have something to prove.  The ego has been mostly annihilated.

This is a huge discovery.  Huge, huge, huge, huge.

It hit home for me when I was listening to Barbara Corcoran speak at #Shine.  She was my absolute favorite part of the whole event bar none.  A new hero for me.

Barbara talked about that she was driven to create her $5 billion company by fear and insult.  Her drive came from a deep desire to show her 3rd grade teacher she wasn’t stupid and her ex-boyfriend that she could be successful without him.

As she spoke I realized how much of my drive and ambition came from a very similar desire.  I graduated first in my class from Georgetown because I wanted to prove to the boys from 7th grade that I was smart.  And that this year in diamond has been a lot about letting go of this need to prove something.

I walked into our first diamond meeting armed with a Powerpoint presentation showing off everything I was working on and all I was going to accomplish over the year.  At meeting 2, I sat on a stool at the front of the room and cried for my entire presentation time.  And by meeting 3, I realized I’m no longer competitive.  I don’t care if I make the most money or become the most famous.  I just want to be with my kids and love my life.

Had you told me this would have happened when I signed up for diamond last year, I would have wanted to punch you in the face.  I was so attached to the idea of what I wanted and how it had to look.  And what I had to prove.  But it did and I’m so grateful.

Sure, I’d love to build a $5 billion company like Barbara Corcoran.  But, not with the same drive and push Barbara has.  If that’s what is required, I’m okay with not doing it.

5.  I’m a juicy, sexy woman and I want to stay that way and bring it into my business.

Barbara talked about her husband a little bit from the stage and mentioned that they rarely have sex and she doesn’t feel sexy.  I get it.  I’ve been there.  When I’m immersed in ambition and drive, I don’t feel sexy or want to have sex either.  All of my juice goes into my business.

Anne McKevitt, Ali’s mentor, told us from the stage that her doctors told her last year that she needed a pace maker.  She felt so hard to me from the stage. So masculine.

I’ve been there and done that.  Push, push, push.  I don’t want to build my business that way anymore.  I want to relax, let go, be a woman.

If I become a famous, multi-millionaire …  great.  If not, that’ll be okay too.  But, what’s not okay is for me to feel hard inside and cold and tough. I want to be soft, yielding, sexy and yummy.

6.  I trust.

Today, I trust deeply that everything that is meant to happen will and I can relax into it, allowing instead of forcing it.

My job is to get crystal clear about what I want, set my intention for that, take the next right indicated step, trust that I finally know exactly what I need to know (I’ve spent 10 years accumulating huge, expensive knowledge) or that I will receive the knowledge I need when I need it and finally, trust, trust, trust that when I need to act, I will.

Big revelations for me.  All things I’d heard and read about in the past and knew on the intellectual level.  Today, I embody them in a way I have not before.  I’ve let go of a major, long-held dream.  Something I’ve held tight to for the past several years.  And I’m in mourning for it.  But, also trusting that if it’s meant to be, it will be. It’s in God’s hands and I can let go.

Shine was a three-day event in Las Vegas.  The ticket price ranged from $997 for early bird tickets all the way up to $1497 right before the event.  If you stayed at the hotel, room rates ran $209/night.  Lots of women shared rooms (as many as three to a room).  I shared a room with my honey, Dave Dee.  Lots of people did not stay at the hotel, which I think was an error*, but in that case, room rates could have been as low as $50/night at other hotels.  Some women attended on scholarship, in which case they did not pay for their ticket.  Flights likely ran anywhere between $100-$250.  The networking party was$100.  And of course you had to feed yourself the three days of the event, which probably ran right around $500.

So, all in all, not an inexpensive weekend by any means.

Over and over again, I heard people asking … so, are you glad you came?

And the answers ran the gamut.  One of my coaching members absolutely loved the event.  For her, it was the first time she was ever in a room with so many women like her … moms in business who want more from life.  Just having that sense of “I’m not alone” made the trip totally worth it for her.

On the flip side, there were some who were in major complaint mode, feeling as if their expectations weren’t met.

And of course, there were as many responses in between.

So, was it worth it?

Here’s the deal … and it’s the exact same thing I’ll say regarding whether my diamond investment was worth it.  YOU determine whether it’s worth it.

Here’s what I mean:

Even if you didn’t love the content of the event (and I do acknowledge that for those of us who have been around the online world for a while, it was light), there was so much you could have gotten out of SHINE:

1.  Focus on the networking opportunities.

Ali Brown attracts the most amazing women to her events. Who cares about the content when you can spend all your time in the halls connecting with all your online friends, creating joint ventures, and intentionally spreading the word about your business.

2.  Watch what she is doing.

Ali is a master.  Sure, there were a few things I would have done differently at the event (for example Lynn Rose was a far superior emcee at OSBW last year than the guy Ali probably paid beacoup bucks for this year and Ali’s mentor Anne’s presentation was totally inappropriate to me on so many levels) but this was Ali’s very first SHINE and all in all it seemed to have the desired effect of inspiring women to step up to a new level of beingness in their life and business. Not to mention, I’m sure Ali filled her 2010 diamond coaching program (that’s a million dollar payday people!) and even if you don’t have any plans for anything like that, there’s a whole lot you can learn by watching her do it.

3.  Pay close attention to what’s coming up for you.

If you find yourself sitting in an event like Ali’s and judging it the entire time, you need to ask yourself what that’s about.  In my own experience, I’ve discovered it’s very likely a sign that I am jealous and want what I am judging or that I’m blocking some important self discovery for myself with my judgment.  When you find that happening for yourself, go within and ask yourself “what is here for me?” There are no accidents.  If you’ve spent hundreds or thousands of dollars to attend an event and taken time out of your life to get there, you are there for a reason.  If you spend the entire time in judgment, you will block your blessing.  Instead, ask to be shown and stay open for the answer.

Thinking about this, I remember back to the Dan Kennedy event I attended three years ago that changed my life.  After investing everything I had in learning from Dan by reading his books and buying his products and even hiring coaches who used his name in their marketing, I realized I was never going to get it without getting out of my comfort zone and flying to Cleveland to attend one of his events.  It was a $3,000 event and I’d have to be away from my kids and office for 5 days.  A HUGE investment for me at the time.

About half way through the event, I still had not figured out why I was there. I had been staying open, meeting everyone I could, soaking up every minute of the content.  The content was all the same stuff I had already learned from the books and products I had invested in and I hadn’t met anyone I thought could help me, but I stayed open.  And then, it hit me!  Everyone in attendance at the event who was successful doing what I wanted to do (move out of the 1-to-1 service delivery model and into a 1-to-many model of business) was in either Dan or Bill’s mastermind.  So, I decided then and there, that’s what I would do.  I’d get into one of their masterminds.  Of course, getting into Dan’s mastermind was impossible, I knew, so I thought I’d convince Bill to let me in.  Ha.  Looking back now I know how funny that thought was.  But, thank God for naivete’, right?

So, I go up to Bill at the next break and I say “Bill, I’m so close to making this information marketing thing work, I just need a little bit of help.  I want to join your mastermind.”  And, he looked down at me with laughter in his eyes and he said “Sorry, you can’t do it.  There’s simply no room.”  And just as I was about to say, “Ok, let me hire you then.” (I was truly desperate for help!)  He said “And, you can’t even hire me, I have absolutely no time.”  I was devastated.  I just knew it’s why I had come to Cleveland.  But, just then I heard a voice in my head and it said “don’t wimp out Alexis, you’ve come this far, ask him if he has any ideas for you.”  So I did.  I said, “Bill, do you have any other ideas for me?”  And it was this willingness to persevere and follow up even though I was embarrassed and judging myself and experiencing everything else that we do when we hear no that changed my life.

Bill pointed a couple of feet away to a man and said “go talk to him and see if he can help you.”  And I did.  That him turned out to be Dave Dee.  Within three months of meeting Dave, I had a $117,000 payday on a 67-minute teleseminar, turned that into a total of $200,000 of revenue over 6 weeks and turned that into a 7-figure plus business within a year.  Oh, and we fell in love.

None of that would have happened if I would have sat through that event in judgment about what I wasn’t getting or how much the content sucked.

So, if you did that this time, don’t do it next time.  And, if you did do it this time, it’s not too late for you to still get what you may have missed.  Sit down for some quiet focus time and ask yourself what you learned from being there … then write.

This got pretty long and I committed to myself to make my blog posts short and to the point, so I’ll be back in a few days to talk about my $100,000 investment in the diamond program and whether it was worth it.