Jul 20

2009

What Comes Around Goes Around: Scammers Who Conned Me Out of $10k Get Into a Fight

by Alexis Martin Neely - Posted in Business, Scammed |

I was going to keep quiet. That would have been much easier. That is what these types of people expect. But I couldn’t just keep quiet and let other people get hurt as well.

Here’s the story…

But, real quick before it, if you have ever been scammed out of money, let me know.  I know it’s painful and embarrassing, but it’s time to move beyond embarrassment and shame and speak out!

You are not a victim.  When something like this happens, it’s an opportunity for you to learn and grow, but only if you do not hide.

With that awareness, here’s what happened in my life recently:

Several months ago I was contacted on Twitter by a man named Steve Pohlit. He reached out to me through a private direct message to let me know that he had perfected a lead generation process that he had been working on utilizing social media and thought would be ideal for a project I was working on.

I am a big believer in synchronicity and that there are no coincidences and I had just the day before been thinking about how I had perfected a process of converting leads and now just needed a great process for generating leads, so I was quite interested in what he had to say.

Then, when I found out he was the creator of Manifest Mastermind (a spiritually-based membership site that is supported by people I trust like Kendra Thornbury and Randy Gage), I thought for sure THIS WAS MEANT TO BE.  I was pretty excited.

Plus, Steve repeatedly used spiritually-infused language of love, trust, & faith when speaking to me and he seemed totally genuine.  PLUS, he directed me to Facebook groups of thousands of people that he had created for Manifest Mastermind and to his business partner Brian Campbell who appeared to have a solid following on Facebook.  They seemed so legit.

Despite the skepticism of my team members, I engaged Steve and Brian to implement their lead generation strategy for me.

And because I wanted to believe, I dismissed major red flags that came up right away.  After all, Steve signed his emails with platitudes like “Love, Steve” and “Sending energy of peace, happiness, unconditional love, Steve” (Oh God, I feel stupid writing this). Besides that, Steve assured me that this was a new strategy, but that he would work with me to work through any of the kinks.   I trusted him and felt confident we’d make it work together. Boy, do I feel stupid now.

Very quickly it became clear that Steve and Brian were not only not doing what they promised, but they had no intention of working through any kinks with me.  They were going to do the bare minimum that was necessary so they could say they fulfilled their end of the bargain under the terms of our agreement and that was it.  Unfortunately, the bare minimum just meant they had to do SOMETHING.

As soon as I tried to let them know that what they were doing wasn’t working and work out the kinks with them to create a strategy that would work, they began to use what I’ll call spiritual manipulation.

Here’s a sample of what that looked like in an email from Steve to me after I emailed him to let him know what wasn’t working and what I thought needed to happen to make our campaign work:

The Law of Attraction states that what you focus on expands. What has been happening is you are focusing on imagined results that have not yet manifest according to your definition. Your reaction is one of attack and you are creating situations in support of your belief that we are part of a group of less than honorable marketers.

While I will not go “toe to toe” with you on each of your points in your email, I do agree the communication was more positive and energetic at the start. Since then what we have felt is that the energy has turned to one of a weekly “bitching and moaning” session. Or, “it is Friday so it is time to tell Brian and Steve they suck”.

With that downstream energy flowing two things happen: 1. we respond factually with what we are doing and 2.) we feel the disconnect with you and the synergy that is possible is dormant.

So, basically, if I express that things are not working, I am energetically damaging the campaign.  (For the record, there was no bitching or moaning and I never said they suck  – although their campaign was a big loser; I was extremely kind with my requests for improvement- I’m quite sure, in fact, that I was too kind.)

This is the exact sort of manipulation that I’ve seen from other what I’ll call “spiritual scammers.” Let me know if you’ve experienced this sort of turn-around manipulation yourself.

As you can likely imagine, things proceeded downhill from there.

Steve and Brian were never willing to work with me to improve anything.  Anytime I expressed displeasure, Steve turned it around on me in an attempt to show me how I was creating negativity and therefore was responsible for the poor results … forget the fact that my team was running a simultaneous campaign having fantastic results with a different strategy!

I knew nothing would ever come of it and chalked the whole experience up to a big, expensive lesson learned.  Rather than investing the energy in pursuing a refund (which I have no doubt would never have come) or a lawsuit (which I have no doubt would have cost me far more than the $10,000 I lost), I let it go.  And, I let it be.

But now it appears Brian (Steve’s “partner” in this whole debacle) has been taken by Steve too.  A case of karma, if you ask me.  It’s not possible that Brian didn’t see how Steve had manipulated me into spending $10,000 on a campaign that had no chance of success.  Brian’s a smart guy and he was the one carrying out the bogus strategy.  So, what did Brian expect?  Did he not realize that Steve was ripping me off?  I’d love to hear Brian’s thoughts on this.

For the rest of ya, it’s time to speak out!

I told myself I was letting this go because I didn’t want to give it anymore energy and that’s true, but I also realize that I was embarrassed and full of shame.  And because I kept quiet, it’s quite possible that more people were taken.

Well, it’s not going to happen anymore.  I will not stand by and watch good-hearted people be taken by mean-spirited, spiritual-talkers who don’t walk their talk with integrity.

I’ve discovered an important paradox.  What has had me keep this quiet up until now  is the victim part of me that feels shame and embarrassment.  When I speak about what happened with an open heart (not from a place of revenge) I feel empowered and all remnants of the victim energy are gone.

I don’t get riled up about much, but I do get riled up about this.  If you have a story about being taken … share it.  Don’t hide it.  It’s time to speak out!  You are not a victim.  With an open heart allow your experience to help others.  You are empowered.


  • Justynaszpejer
    I just wanted to share one more thing. I hope you don't mind Alexis.I went to court with my ex TJ to get money back that I lent to him while we were dating. I lent him $ 35,000. The judge only gave me back $ 5,000. I feel really frustrated. I knew him for ten years. The first half we were friends. The other half we dated on/off for five years. Five years the first time we dated I supported him through a rough time. During that time he met a very young girl that he became friends with. She fell in love with him. I could see she was trying to break us up. This caused tension and he didn't believe me. We broke and he started dating that young girl. She stopped taking her birth control behind his back to get pregnant and she succeeded. They ended up getting married. The marriage didn't last long. She walked out on him because she couldn't take the pressure of the responsibility and she maxed out his credit cards. We ended up getting back together. That's when I ended up lending him the money. The relationship was even more frustrating this time around. So I ended up breaking it off with him. He said he would pay me back. He never did and we ended up in court. What frustrates me is this. We had a pre-trial. He never showed up for it. Then he moved and changed jobs. I had to call and tell him I was going to drop the lawsuit in order to find out where he works and lives so I could have the judgement papers served. We went to court because he wanted the judgment reversed. He told the judge he never got notice to go for the pre-trial. The judge believed him and that led us to a third court date. I went in there confident I would get all of my money back. I had 69 pages of bank statements. I was confident and I have a good memory. My representation even told the judge that I very organized and reliable. However the judge felt that I couldn't prove the 69 pages that I had was money that went to TJ.He told that judge it was a gift. How could he lie on the stand and get away with. I don't understand. I was positive. I was going to put money to responsible and positive use. I was going to move out and get my own place. Now I am stuck living at home at 31. He lied in court twice and got away with it. Plus his mom knew how much I lent him because I told her the amount and she lied for him in court. I have tried to manifest a positive outcome for the trial and this happened. I am glad I received $ 5,000 but I deserved so much more. I was of service. I helped him so much. How can this have happened?
  • Justynaszpejer
    Thank you for sharing. Awhile back I was a member of David Wygant's Private Community. When I was on it I notice plenty of things I didn't like. For example, they did not deliver everything they promised on their sales page. I wanted to get advice from David Wygant instead one of his other coaches, Coach Khiem gave the advice. His advice wasn't all that great. Then something else happened. On one of David's blog posts he saw the movie " The Ugly Truth ". He loved how in the movie the dating coach came up with that nickname for dating aka The Ugly Truth. He went on to say how he would love to come up with a nickname for dating too. I came up with a really good one. I wanted to post it below the blog but for some technical reason I couln't post it so I went into the private community and posted my idea. Coach Khiem really liked it. He told me he would get David to use it. True enough he did. My idea was to call dating The Naked Truth. Now my idea is all over his website. I was hoping I would get a thank you from David or a mention. I received neither. Also I wasn't happy with his private community. I wasn't getting everything I was paying for. So I wrote a letter telling him about my concerns. In return I got the nastiest and meanest letter from his assistant Kirsten. Kirsten told me that my concerns were unfounded. She said that they were offering everything they promised and that the idea I gave them to use on the website The Naked Truth someone on their team had already come up with it the day before I suggested it to Coach Khiem. Thank you Alexis.
  • Been there!
    Yes, thank you for sharing yourself and the story. My business got ripped off $1,500 last year by someone who touted their experience and affiliation with a known organization to do work for my company. He never did a damned thing and lied all through it and of course has been just 'teflon' as far as a refund goes.
  • Anonymous
    Alexis, I truly appreciate your honesty as I have been living with the pain of such that you mention for many months.

    I joined up with a woman (well-known in the health and nutrition world) who gave me 1/2 pay in year one and less than 1/3 pay in year two to be applied toward a "partnership" which she never took action to form. She called me "partner" yet made all financial decisions without me (and even shifted direction behind my back on decisions we made together!).

    After my investment advisor warned me that my personal finances were on shaky ground (I had been dipping into my retirement monies to carry me - AND HER BUSINESS), and I would have to put our newly renovated home on the market, I left her to set up my own company to attempt to recover my losses.

    She claims I do not "deserve" financial remuneration for my 50+ hour work weeks since we were "partners," yet no partnership was ever put in place.

    So, now without a partnership share, no pay for my work, a loosely structured agreement (read: non-enforceable contract), a house on the market, I find myself licking my wounds but determined to make a go of my new business. I've lost tens of thousands of dollars. She, on the other hand, has a successful book launch, TV show the Fall, and is making a big splash in her industry.

    And what do I hear through the grapevine? Because I decided to leave her, she is trashing my reputation, and attempting to undermine my new business launch.

    This has been the most painful experience in my life.
  • So interesting, Alexis.

    This is EXACTLY why I have been turned off by folks who even mention "The Secret" in any of their marketing material.

    "Spirituality" is something that is so sacred to me, it's always put up a big red flag when someone tries to use it as part of their platform.

    I believe you can tell a spiritual person by the fruits in their life-- fruits such as patience, kindness, generosity, not material fruits such as nice cars, big homes, large followings.

    As soon as a person tells you they are "spiritual", you can pretty much be assured that they are not.

    I've met amazing small business owners-- such as landscapers,bakers, accountants-- that never once told me they were "spiritual" but by the way the treated me, their families, and the community at large you could tell they had a deep connection with Something Greater.

    The world online is a strange and beautiful place. There are opportunities to earn a living and create freedom and help others. There is also a lot of hogwash with "Spiritual Manipulators abound.

    I am so sorry you had to go through this difficult and expensive lesson.

    For me I wish that spirituality would stop being marketed all together. Closeness to God was never meant to be a 'niche' or a platform, and when it becomes one it becomes "icky".... to much room for spiritual scammers...If living our lives "spiritually" is so important to us, I believe we should stop trying to sell it or advertise it....the fruits of our spiritual practice will show up and we will not have to say one word to point them out.
  • Dear Alexis,
    Thank you for your courage and openness regarding this issue; it takes a huge amount of courage to admit that we have been taken advantage of by others. I am by nature a cautious person, overly so, I have been taken advantage of by others. I worked with a business consultant to set up my business, when I confronted him with the shortcomings that had become obvious, his response was less than acceptable and yes turned the finger to point at my shortcomings. He didn't even respond the last time, completely ignoring the situation. I trusted his experience and integrity and do feel shame, embarrassment and victimized. I learned valuable lessons from the experience. I am currently addressing issues in my business and course correcting with the insights that I have gained as a result. I am very glad that you have outed these conartists and protected others that may become their victims.
  • Hi Alexis,

    Thanks for this post. I admire your transparency. I have experienced similar pressure from certain big names when trying to sell me their services. I have been told that my "resistance" was not letting me invest in what they claim was the exact program that would solve my obvious problem.

    After the horrific sweat lodge incident in Sedona, I was once again reminded that we must hear our heart and the yellow (or red) flags that we sense. The Divine does lead if we will but tune in.

    Your brave story is inspiring and a breath of fresh air. I remember several months ago when Brian wrote to his list and said he was parting ways with Steve. He said there were problems there but did not detail.

    I hope they decide to fly right. Redemption is available to everyone, after all!

    Bless ya!
    Catherine
  • I had a scammer talk my ex-wife out of $3,500. I was leery the entire time. The instant the scammer thought I was talking to police a cashiers check for $3,500 appeared at my door. Scammers operate on FUD: Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt. They will do just about anything to keep their scams going. Including giving money back.
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